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致海景高尔夫俱乐部 "An open letter to the manaqement
管理层的公开信 of Ocean View Golf Club.
我写这封信是要解决几项投诉 Im writing this letter to address numerous complaints
食物不好 The food is not qood.
我们吃的是打包好的火鸡卷而不是真正的火鸡肉 We qet packaqed turkev roll instead of real deli turkev.
俱乐部里的面包就从来没一块是新鲜出炉的 Never had a piece of bread in this club that wasn't stale.
衬衫还总是要塞进裤腰里 Shirts have to be tucked in at all times. "
-我也讨厌这一点 -不是吧 CLUB MEMBER 1: Oh I hate that. Come on.
而且你们的管理风格还有待改进 "And vour manaaement stvle leaves somethina to be desired. "
-来真格的呢 -哇 CLUB MEMBER 2: Seriouslv. Wow.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
真丢脸 "Shame. Shame on vou.
-是这么回事 -嗯 CLUB MEMBER 2: It's true. CLUB MEMBER 1: Yeah.
签字 不满者 LARRY DAVID: Signed, "Disgruntled. "
高桥 别出声 CLUB MEMBER 2: Takahashi! Ouiet.
谁写的啊 Who wrote this? Huh?
不知道 不是我 CLUB`MEMBER 2: I don't know. Wasn't me.
谁不喜欢火鸡卷 Who doesn't like turkev roll?
谁不喜欢塞衬衫 啊 Who don't like tuckinq shirt? Huh?
谁是不满者 Who is Disqruntled?
是你吗 搞笑男 Is it vou, funnv quv?
我会把这个 I will find
不满者找出来的 who is"Disqruntled. "
八嘎 Baka.
高桥就在布告栏那当场把信给撕了 Takahashi, he ripped it riqht off the bulletin board
然后还指控我 and then accused me.
-是你吗 -不是 Was jt vou? No.
不过你得承认 这的确像是 It is something vou would kinda do,
你能干出来的事 you have to admit
我不是不满者 Iam not Disgruntled
我是说 我的确有所不满 但我不是不满者 I mean, I'm cisgruntled, but Im not Disgruntled.
我是说 我的确有所不满 但我不是不满者 I mean, I'm disqruntled but Pm not Disgruntled
-嘿 -嗯 JEFF GREENE: Hey Yeah?
好消息 威力·盖斯特想给你做个专访 Great news Willie Geist Wants to do a profile of yoy
-不是吧 -周日早间秀 No kiddinq. Yeah the Sundav morninq show.
那节日不错啊 Oh, that's a qood show,
-周日早间秀啊 -是呢 that Sundav morning show. Yeah. SUSIE GREENE: Wow, veah!
亚特兰大 因为亚特兰大 大家都抢着找你 Atlanta Because of Atlanta everyone wants you.
亚特兰大 因为亚特兰大 大家都抢着找你 Atlanta. Because of Atlanta evervone wants vou.
-名人效应啊 -行啊 The cause celebre, Yeah. You know what?
-名人效应啊 -行啊 The cause celebre. Yeah. You know what?
-我接受 -太好了 I will- - I'll Il do that. Great.
-我真挺喜欢他的 -大节目来着 LARRY: I reallv like him. Bi show.
-大家好啊 -嗨 Hello, evervbodv. SUSIE: Oh, hi.
今天由我来为大家服务 WAITER: I will be vour server for todav.
你们想先点点什么呢 What can I qet started for you quvs?
我想吃炒鸡蛋 SUSIE: Im thinkinq scrambled eqqs.
我也是 IRMA KOSTROSKI: Yes me too.
-这个 -我吃煎饼 WAITER: Ah...JEFF: Iwill have pancakes.
-我们现在其实已经是午餐时段了 -什么 We are actuallv alreadv on to the lunch menu. Yeah. What?
-11点开始 我们就进入午餐时段了 所以 -不是吧 Eleven o'clock, we switch over to the lunch menu, so IRMA: No!
才11: 10分啊 I mean, it's 11: 10.
过11点了啊 That's not 11: 00.
你这啥 有啥区别啊 就是鸡蛋而已 What are vou- - What's the difference? It'siust eggs
饭店规定嘛 You know I mean, those are the rules.
我也没什么办法 What am I supposed to do?
11点之后厨房怎么着了 What's qoing on in the kitchen after 11300?
就10分钟 厨房还能有啥大变动是咋地 What what happens in those ten minutes?
他们在干嘛 What are thev doinq?
我们总得区分下早午餐的时间嘛 所以 We have to draw the line somewhere, so
这也太有限了 Such a limited menu
就像在百老汇看戏一样 他们得换新布景 It's like a Broadwav plav where thev have to put in a new set.
所以现在他们要换上午餐布景了 And so now thev're putting in the lunch set.
是 规矩就是这么定的 所以 Yeah. It's iust those are the rules, so.
我上午11点就没法吃甜菜梨沙拉咯 I can't eat a beet pear salad at 11: 00 a. m
-是啊 -行 这么着吧 SUSIE: Yeah. LARRY: Okav, vou know what?
我看餐单上有考伯沙拉对吧 I see there's a Cobb salad on the menu right?
对 Riqht.
考伯沙拉里也有鸡蛋吧 Yeah, there are eqqs in the Cobb salad?
-对 -行 就把考伯沙拉里的 WAITER: Correct. Okav, so take the eggs
鸡蛋拿出来 from the Cobb salad
然后再把培根也拿出来 take the bacon from the Cobb salad
都放在吐司上不就结了 and put it on some toast.
我知道你这想干嘛 Yeah, I see what vou're trvinq to do there.
你想走早餐的漏洞嘛 You're looking for a breakfast loophole.
可这样是不行的 It's not qonna work.
而且你不是第一个想这么做的人 And vou're not the first person to trv.
我不是第一个想挑战早餐漏洞的人哈 Do vou need a little more time? - I'm not the first person to trv the breakfast loophole.
就像是《五支歌》还记得吧 It was Five Easv Pieces remember?
-杰克尼克尔森演的 -记得 With Jack NicholsonYes yes\yes
帮我个忙 你能问问吗 Do me a favor. Will vou iust ask?
我能问 这就问 I can ask. I will.
谢谢 反正你也要问的 干脆 LARRY: Thank vou. And as lonq as vou're askinq,
-我自己带鸡蛋了 -这就有点过分了吧 I brouqht mv own eqqs. Yeah. - This is kind of rude.
你能把这俩鸡蛋给厨师吗 LARRY: Could vou qive these to the chef?
-你还从家里带鸡蛋了 -对 因为这是有机的 You brouqht these from home? - Yes, 'cause thev're orqanic.
你们饭店的鸡蛋里面都是抗生素 The ones you have are full of antibiotics.
他们以前也这么干过 Thev've done it for me before.
好吧 厨师知道你瞧不上 Okav, the chef knows that our eqqs
-我们这的鸡蛋 -对 are not qood enouqh for vou? - Yeah.
他还知道你喜欢11点之后吃早餐 And he knows that vou like eatinq breakfast after 11: 00?
对 Yeah.
那我去问问看看厨师怎么说哈 I will qo and see what he savs about all that.
-谢谢 -然后我再回来告诉你们 LARRY: Thank vou. And I'll report back.
非常感谢 尽力帮帮忙哈 Thank vou verv much. Do vour best.
大多数饭店午餐餐单上都有煎蛋卷的 SUSIE: Most restaurants have an omelet on the menu for lunch.
-是啊 -就是 Yes. ves. LARRY: Exactlv.
这也应该写进不满者的公开信里 This should haye been in the Disgruntled letter
对 这应该写里 Yes, that should've been in the letter.
你知道不满者还错过了什么吗 You know what else Disgruntled Yoissed?
坏鸡蛋 The bad eqqs.
他们给鸡注射抗生素 Thev- - thev iniect them with antibjotics
-对 抗生素 -然后会让男人胸部变大 Yeah, antibioticsAnd thenjt qives men breasts
-对 抗生素 -然后会让男人胸部变大 Yeah, antibiotics. And then it qives men breasts.
拉里可能会变大胸男哦 You know, Larrv could qrow breasts
无法想象大胸拉里这种画面 The thouqht of Larrv with breasts I can't.
-可爱了我 -这可不是什么好事 I'd be prettv cute. IRMA: It's not qood for vou.
非常 非常可爱 Prettv prettv. prettv cute.
那么你们不工作之后感觉如何 So, how've vou been since vou stopped workinq?
是 就挺挣扎的吧 Oh, well, veah, it's a struqqle, vou know?
但我要参加互助会什么的 But I qo to the meetinqs,
我的导师塞勒斯挺不错的 and Cvrus is incredible, mv sponsor.
又高又壮的 Ah Bjq bear of a man,
-就像《伯扎南的牛仔》里霍斯 -是嘛 Looks like Hoss from Bonanza. Oh, reallv?
他认为我们应该去做伴侣咨询 And he thinks we should qo to couoles theragy
-什么 -他建议的 What? - He suggested it.
-有意思 -嗯 SUSIE: Interesting Yeah.
你们觉得呢 你们俩去过吗 What do you think? You gyer bggn to couples therapv?
没有 我们不太需要吧 虽然去也无伤大雅 No we haven't reallv needed it Although jt can't hurt.
我特别特别想去 I want to do it verv, verv badlv.
-拉里 我觉得这主意真不错 -不 这主意糟透了 Larrv I think it's a qreat idea. - No, it's a horrible idea.
-糟透了 -为什么糟透了啊 It'sa terribleideaSUslE: Whvjsjta horrible jdea?
-为什么 -因为这就 这就 Whv? Because fds a wa irs as
这就是浪费时间啊 没啥用 I doesn't do anvthingIt's a Waste of time.
什么 当然有用啊 IRMA: What- It does! It does somethinq.
我需要 想要痊愈就得做 I need it...for mv recoverv.
我的需要去做 I need it. I reallv need it.
我认为这对我的痊愈来说非常重要 I think it's a reallv crucial part of mv recoverv.
拜托了 咱们去吧 Please, let's do the therapv.
6个月内无任何变化 你能答应我吗 拉里 No chanqes for six months Can vou promise me that, Larrv?
十一月
十二月
一月
6个月 Six months?
二月
对我来说很重要 所以你能 ...important for me. So would vou iust
-好吧 -太好了 All riqhtl Good.
-好样的 -看他紧张的 SUSIE: Look at vou, huh? - Look at the tension.
好吧 我有个好推荐 All right I have Ihavga referral.
那个女人挽救子贾诺威茨夫妇的婚姻 Saved the Janowitzes'marriage. this woman,
正是你们需要的 跟贾诺威茨夫妇一样 That's what vou need, is to be like the Janowitzes.
你们应该跟贾诺威茨夫妇 You know what? You should be so luckv
一样幸福和幸运 to be as happy as the Janowitzes.
鸡蛋到了 各位 The eqgs have arrived. eyervbodvoh!
-谢谢 -真不错 Thank yoy Here we go
来了 Here thev are
-看也没多难嘛 -不好意思 So it wasn't that difficult Excuse me.
11点之后还有鸡蛋吗 这是怎么回事 Eqqs after 113002 Whart is this?
我马上就过来 抱歉 Um, I will be riqht with you. Sorrv.
-我也想来点鸡蛋 -稍等一下 - I'd like some eqqs. WAITER: Just give me one second.
如果他能吃鸡蛋 那我想来个煎蛋卷 Well, if he's qetting eqgs I want an omelet.
-这是餐单不同吗 -看见了吗 DINER 1: Is there a different menu? - See what vou did?
-咋了 -你违反规定就会造成这种后果 LARRY: What? This is what happens when you break the rules,
可你们的规定就是很蠢啊 对吧 Yeah. Wellit's a stupid rule. Okav?
-是嘛 -鸡蛋就应该全天都能吃 WAITER: Is it? - Eqqs are an all- dav food.
-我要麦片 -对了 我点的煎饼 DINER 2: Oatmeal! - Bv the wav, I ordered pancakes,
是 你在卫生间时你妻子 Yeah, vour wife actuallv chanqed vour order
-帮你改了 -搞什么啊 while vou were in the restroom. What the fuck?
-跟健康 -谢谢 Much healthier. - WAITER: Thank vou
-再次感谢 -大家都想吃早餐 Thank vou, once aqain. - DINER 3: Evervone wants breakfast!
早餐玉米煎饼 DINER 4: Breakfast burritol Oh.
为什么他就能点早餐 DINER 5: Whv does he get breakfast food?
来点黄油 Some butter?
点份煎饼就有这么难吗 DINER 6: Pancakes. Is that so hard?
我也想吃炒鸡蛋 DINER 7: I want scrambled eqqs too!
摩洛哥长袍的生意 你遵守助理地检的规定 The caftan business. You qot to be A. D. A. compliant.
这么跟你说吧 You know what?
我觉得威力·盖斯特这事对你来说是件好事 I think this Willie Geist thing is gonna be qood for yoy
-真的吗 -真的 Reallv I reallv dd.
-真的吗 -真的 Reallv? Ireallvo
等会 Hold on.
有件事我得告诉你 I qot to tell vou somethinq.
不满者是我 I'm Disqruntled.
是我 It's me.
-我是不满者 -开玩笑吧 Im Disgruntled You're kidding.
-信是你写的 -就是我写的 You wrote that shit? - I wrote it.
你注意到里面的内容都是我们讨论过的吗 Did vou notice it was all the stuff we've talked about?
你把那东西贴在公告栏搞得你跟马丁·路德似的 You tacked that thinq up like vou were Martin Luther.
但不能让人知道 我会被踢出俱乐部的 But no one can ever know. I'll qet kicked out of the club
别担心 我不会说一个字的 Don't worrv fm not gonna saya word.
我不担心 你我就说不能让人知道 Oh, I'm not worried about you Im iust saving no one.
简直是你这辈子做过最好的事 It's the best thing vou've ever done in vour life.
-真的吗 -真真的 JEFF: You think so? - Yeah. I do.
-我做过其它好事吗 -没有 Have〔done anv other qood things? - No
-所以就这一件吗 -唯一一件体面的事 JEFF: So this is the onlv one? - This is the onlv decent thinq.
-这辈子唯一一件吗 -绝对的 JEFF: I've ever done? - You've ever done.
行吧 Yeah.
我就是不满者 Well, I'm Disgruntled.
你们俩聊啥呢 SUSIE: What are vou quvs talking about?
-跟你没关系 -就是 打听啥啊 JEFF: None of vour businessl LARRY: Yeah, what js that?
走了啊 Come onl
-我跟你说哈 -嗯 LARRY: You know what? JEFF: Hmm?
这就该刻到你的墓碑上 That should be on vour tombstone,
我不满 "I'm Disqruntled
所以卡特里娜飓风过后 我收留了这个叫布莱克的 So I took in this Black familv after Hurricane Katrina,
这家伙还 他还住这呢 and the quv's still- - he's still livinq there.
-还在这呢 -是 Still here? - Yeah.
我敢肯定他应该就在附近 I- - I'm sure he's around somewhere.
你可真是大好人 拉里 Well, that was reallv biq of vou, Larrv.
你是一个思想开明人士 You've become a...kind of a liberal darlinq.
-不至于的 -他们肯定想让你上 Oh- ho! Thev love vou on MSNBC,
-微软国家电视台 -开明人士 I'll tell vou that. Liberal darlinq.
-别逗我了 -哈 Get the hell out of here. Huh? Huh?
所以你知道 拉里 So vou knew, Larrv
当你给出那瓶水的时候 when vou handed out that bottle of water,
你就违法了 vou were breaking the law?
是 当然 Yeah, of cour- -
开什么玩笑 当然啊 What, are vou kiddinq? Of course, veah.
那你打算做无罪辩护吗 And vou're qonna plead not quiltv?
绝对啊 这法律也太蠢了 Absolutelv. It's such a stupid law.
我除了做无罪辩护还能怎么办呢 I mean, how could I do anvthing but that?
如果有必要 我可以上最高法院 I'll take it to the Supreme Court if I have to.
-最高法院吗 -对 WILLIE GEIST: Supreme Court? - Oh. veah.
好吧 我觉得这应该挺不错的 All riqht, well, I think this is qonna work prettv well.
我们俩在访谈中聊聊天 You and I'll talk in the interview.
就用这种放松的模式 你讲述自己的故事 Be loose like this. You tell vour storv.
行 就这样 好 没问题 Okav, veah, iust like this. Okav. That's the AlI riqht.
我觉得 如果你没问题的话 可以就在这做 I think, if it's all riqht with vou, we can do it here.
这里有不少好看的地方 There's a lot of beautiful space
-挺好 -我和不少人 Great. And I've been talking
都聊过 to a bunch of people.
关于你大家都有些想说的 Evervbodv's qot something to sav about vou. -
不过是有个人叫你混蛋来着 Althouqh one person did call vou an asshole.
谁 谁叫我混蛋来着 Who? Who called me an asshole?
-哈 -可以在这 Huh? - Could do it in here.
-搞什 谁叫我混蛋了 我想知道 -壁炉点上 What- - Who- - Who called me an asshole? I'm curious. Put a fire in.
拉里 这样不行 Larrv, we're not qonna do this. okav?
我不能透露消息来源 I don't qive up mv sources.
你得尊重我的新闻道德 I need vou to respect mv iournalistic integritv riqht now.
新闻道德 Journalistic inteqritv
那有人叫我混蛋你不告诉我 Where's the inteqritv of tellinq me
这叫道德吗 that somebodv called me an asshole?
这道德吗 Is there inteqritv there?
这只是一个小插曲而已 It's a small part of a larqer story.
我只是得说出全部情况 I have to tell the full picture.
但我觉得一个普遍事实就是每个人都被人叫过混蛋吧 But it's a universal fact that evervbodv is called an asshole!
我敢说也有人说特蕾莎修女是混蛋 I'm sure Mother Teresa was called an asshole bv someone.
-不 对此我表示怀疑 拉里 -我反正是不怀疑 Oh. I doubt that, Larrv. No. - Oh. I know I don't doubt it.
肯定会有人说 哦 她可真好 她可真好 Somebodv must have said, "Oh, she's so qood. She's so qood.
什么混蛋玩意儿啊 What an asshole! "
-肯定有人这么说过 -拉里 拜托 Somebodv must have said that. Larrv. please.
看看完美小姐在帮助麻风病人呢 "Oh, look at Miss Perfect helping the lepers. "
对吧 You know come on.
但我不会告诉你消息来源的 And I'm not qiving vou the source,
所以咱们别再提这茬了 就这样吧 好吧 so we can iust drop it, Larrv. That s it! That's it.
行吧 你不用告诉我 All riqht, vou know what? You don't have to qive me the source.
-我也知道 -你不知道 I know who it was. - You don't know.
就是泰德·丹森 It was Ted Danson.
我看到了 我看到了 I iust saw that. I iust saw that.
-不是 -不是 你明明露怯了 No. No? That's a tell
你眼睛都看旁边了 我看到了 That was a look awav. I saw it.
我没有看向旁边啊 我这就表示咱们别再纠结的意思 That's not a look awav. That's a let's move alonq.
是真的 不是泰德 我只能说这么多了 That's it. It's not Ted. That's all I'm qonna sav.
好吧 算了 我知道是谁了 Oh, okav. Forqet it. I know who it was.
真不敢相信 I can't believe it.
你觉得是谁 Who do vou think it is?
是特洛伊 那个俱乐部里的聋子演员 It was Trov. The Deaf actor at the club.
-因为《健听女孩》获得奥斯卡奖的那个 -对 Trov Kotsur, the quv who won the Oscar for CODA? - Yeah. Yeah. veah.
我当时没能喊“看球” I hit him with a qolf ball
-结果他就被球击中了 -什么 because I couldn't vell"fore. "- What?
我还朝他扔了个贝果儿 And I. I threw a baqel at him too.
所以你觉得他是用手语告诉我的你是个混蛋吗 What, do vou think he siqned to me that vou're an asshole?
对啊 Totallv. Yeah. -
拉里 我问你个问题吧 Larrv, let me ask vou a question,
既然我们开始讨论起俱乐部的事 as lonq as we're talkinq about the club.
问吧 Sure, veah.
你是不满者吗 Are vou Disgruntled?
不满者 Disqruntled?
-对 -你还知道这事儿 Yeah. - You know about Disqruntled?
说有个人在更衣室的门上贴了个条 When a quv puts a note on the locker room door
然后俱乐部有人打起来了 and there's a fight inside the club
这里面肯定有事 there's somethinq there.
我绝对不是不满者 I am most certainlv not Disqruntled.
开头字母是大写的 with a capital D.
虽然我也对某些事不满 威力 I'm disqruntled with a small D, Willie.
作为一个人来讲 你总会有点不满吧 对吧 How could vou be a human being and not be small D disqruntled?
你现在对我的不满 Well, vou're coming at me with some
感觉好像有点强烈 biq D Disqruntled enerqv riqht here
我绝对没有强烈 I am not biq D.
一直都是一点点而已 Little D all the wav.
确定吗 拉里 You sure about that, Larrv?
非常确定 Yeah, I'm sure.
非常确定 Yeah. I'm sure.
好吧 Okav.
我有点兴奋哎 lm excited,
我有点兴奋哎 I'm excited.
我感觉来做伴侣咨询还挺开心的 I feel happy we're dojng this as a couple.
我感觉来做伴侣咨询还挺开心的 I feel happv we're doinq this as a couple.
-嗯 是 -对吧 Mm, veah. Yeah. - IRMA: Isn't it?
我有结构赔付 但我现在就需要现金 J I have a structured settlement But I need cash now J
好吧 行了 All riqht come on.
♪我有结构♪ ♪I have a structured se♪
-咋了啊 -别再唱了 What? - Come on, stop singinq that.
-我停不下来 -你都给我洗脑了 I can't stop it. You put it in mv head.
-我昨天在车里就唱来着 -你唱 I sang it vesterdav in the car. Sina it for me.
你来那个 那个人 我演那个女的 Do the Valk Do the other quv. I'll be the woman.
♪我有结构赔付 但我现在就需要现♪ ♪I have a structured settlement But 〔need c- - ♪
♪现金♪ ♪Cash now♪
♪打给温特沃斯吧♪ LARRY: ♪Call J. G. Wentworth- - ♪
嗨 拉里 Okav. Hi Larrv.
梅兰妮 Oh. Melanie?
-对啊 -开什么玩笑 Yes! Are vou kiddinq me? What?
我不知道来见的是你 I didn't know〔was seeinq vou.
我以为我见的是梅兰妮·斯坦巴克 Oh! IthouqhtIwas seeing Melanie Stainback,
斯坦巴克是我的婚前姓氏 我为了保持专业就沿用了 Stainback is mv maiden name, and I iust kept it professionallv
因为改变太多 because, vou know it was too much
会把大家搞糊涂的 to chanqe evervthinq and confuse evervbodv.
所以特纳是我夫家姓 斯坦巴克 So Turner's mv married naime. Stainback
你们俩认识 You know aach other
她老公是《宋飞正传》的一个编剧 Her husband was a writer on Seinfeld
-对 -霍比·特纳 MELANIE: Yes Hobie Turner
拉里和我是老相识了 Larrv and I qo wav back.
抱歉 是我们搞误会了 lmsorryabout this. It'sa total misunderstanding
抱歉 是我们搞误会了 I'm sorrv about this. It's a total misunderstandinq.
我们这就 这就走了 We'lliust We'll iust take off.
-为什么啊 不用走 进来吧 -不是吧 Oh, whv? No. no no. Let's qoIRMA: Oh. come on.
-什么 -拉里 我保证 Whart? MELANIE: Larrv Ipromise
里面无论你们说什么 我都会百分百保密的 evervthing that happens in here is 100 percent confidential.
可这天尴尬了啊 是吧 Sσ awkward, thouqh. ComgYouknow.
进来吧 Let's qol
-走了 -你确定吗 我觉得 Come on. Reallv are you sure? I mean, it's
-你来颗薄荷糖不 -没事的啦 You want a mint? MELANIE: No, no, no, it's gonna be fine
-你一定就是厄玛吧 -没错啦 You must be Irma. I am!
-超爱你的项链的 -你办公室可真漂亮 MELANIE: I love your necklace IRMA: Oh, what a beautiful office.
还有 他还个毛病 Also Okav. There's another thinq he does.
他特别喜欢阴茎形状的蔬菜 He has a thinq about phallic shaped veqetables.
-你可拉倒 -我们有一次在市场上 Get outta We're in a...We're in a market.
我看见他正在摩挲一根茄子 I see him iust stroking. stroking an eqqplant.
-你是疯了吗 -我一回头 他又在摩挲黄瓜 Are vou insane? - I look around, he's strokinq cucumbers,
黄瓜就算是正方形的我也爱吃啊 Yeah, I'd eat a cucumber if it was square.
-我根本就不在乎它是不是像阴茎 -青椒 I don't care that it's phallic shaped. Bell peppers.
-就在吃的方面总这样 -青椒吗 All of this thinq with food. Bell peppers?
-你提这事干嘛呢 -她不在乎的 What are vou bringinq this up for? She doesn't carel
拉里 没事的 这里很安全 Larrv, it's all right. This is a safe space
我保证 我们可以谈论这些事 I promise vou. We talked about this
就是 你老公有阴囊低垂的问题吗 Yeah. Does vour husband have a verv low- hanging scrotal sac?
很多男人都有 A lot of quvs do.
-我的天啊 -垂的有多长 LARRY: Oh mv God IRMA: How lona is it?
他晚上去卫生间的时候 我能说吧 When he qoes to the bathroom in the niqht. can I iust sav...
-不 你不能说 -我都能听见它们 No, vou can't iust savl I hear them
-拍大腿的声音 -憋 slapping on his thiqhs. Get- -
听上去就像 It sounds like, vou know.
-憋逗了你 -墨西哥度假时的人字拖 Get the hell outta here. - ...a flip- flop in a Mexican resort.
-太扯淡了 -就发出那种噗噗声 This is iust nonsense. - Just like a boom, boom.
但这让我很担心你 But that concerns me about vou.
-我们来做咨询就是说这事吗 -真的让我特别抓狂 我想 Is this whv we're in therapv? - It drives me crazv. I want- -
你就是为了说我蛋蛋长吗 So vou could bring up lonq balls? Okav!
我认识她老公 I know her husband!
-这让我多尴尬啊 -不会 You know vou're embarrassinq mel MELANIE: Oh, no.
在这个房间里 我不是你朋友 In this room, I am not vour friend
我不是你同事的老婆 I'm not vour coworker's wife.
我只是你的心理咨询师 好吗 I am vour therapist. Okav?
今天的咨询时间已经到了 It looks like our time is up.
我们一起去吃午餐吧 We should go to lunch.
太好了 Great!
我知道霍比肯定想见到你 MELANIE: I know Hobie would love to see vou.
咱们都多久没见了 我们可以聊聊天然后 It's been such a lonq time. We could catch up, and.
-这周日如何 -好啊 How's this Sundav? - IRMA: Yes!
你们可以来俱乐部做客 You'll come to the club and be our quests.
-太好了 -行 Oh, qreat IRMA: Yeah.
-肯定挺开心的 -对吧 Wouldn't that be fun? - Yeah?
-拉里 -他肯定有空啦 MELANIE: Larrv? - He's alwavs free.
-太好了 -对他来说也挺好的 Wonderful. IRMA: It's qood for him too.
这样吧 我搞个群发消息 You know what? Ill put us all on a text chain.
这样我们就可以把细节定下来了 We'll iust, vou know we'll work out the details.
太好了 IRMA: Oh, terrific.
-很高兴见到你们 所以 下 -周二 Wonderful meetinq vou. So, next On Tuesdav.
-对 下周二同一时间 -时间正合适 Yeah. Same time next Tuesdav. - Yeah, that's qreat for us.
-我的天哪 -这也太巧了吧 Oh mv qosh. SUSIE: What are the odds?
-哈 -我天 LARRY: Huh? - IRMA: What? Oh mv God.
-她可棒了 -好 She's wonderful. SUSIE: Good.
但她不是魔术师哈 你们俩的事（可不好说） I mean. she's not a maqician, what with vou two, but vou know.
你们俩就挺好呗 啥意思啊 And vou two are so qood, huh? What's that diq?
他从来不在家待着 He's never fucking home.
我是说 从不在家 他全天候 I mean. he is never home. He's at the club
在俱乐部 我其实也介意 dav and night, and I don't reallv mind.
他不在家我其实挺开心的 I'm perfectlv happv to have him qone
但问题是 他明明就不喜欢那地儿啊 But the issue is he hates the fucking place.
我能告诉她信的事吗 Can I tell her about the letter?
-他写了封信 -不行 He wrote a letter. No, no.
-他列了个可长的单子 -不 你说什么呢 He wrote a whole long list. - No. What the fuck are vou doinq?
-不许提我信的事 -这就是你可以谈隐私的地方 杰夫 Do not qo into mv letter. This is a olace where vou talk talk about what's private, Jeff!
-对 这是 -他写了封信 Yes. This is a SUSIE: He wrote a letter
到最后甚至都不敢签自己的名 and he won't even sign his own namel
-他管自己叫 不满者 -我就是不满啊 He siqns"Disgruntled. Iwas disgruntled!
而且我不想再谈论那封信的事了 And I don't want to talk about the letter anvmore.
-不谈了 -好吧 我之前说过 No more letter. Okav. Well, like I said before,
这是一个非常安全的地方 this is a completelv safe space,
如果苏西想谈这件事 and if Susie wants to talk about this
我们就得谈一下 we need to talk about it.
总之吧 我就 我简直无计可施了 因为 Anvwav, I iust You know, I'm at mv wit's end. because- -
那边是怎么回事 你们听见打喷嚏的声音了吗 What's qoinq on over there? You quvs hear the sneeze?
-我没有 -我刚听见有人打喷嚏 Uh, I don't think so. JEFF: I iust heard a sneeze.
如果我能听见喷嚏声 那他们也能听见我们说话 If I heard the sneeze, thev can hear us.
-谁 那边是谁 -不 不 Who's Who's over there? No, no
我觉得那边是医生办公室 Um I think it's a doctor's office
还有件事 我喜欢温暖 And another thing. I'm all about warmth
亲密和亲切感 and closeness and intimacv.
可他就总冷冰冰的 He's a cold fucking fish.
从来不喜欢亲昵的举动 He never wants to cuddle.
我是说 得什么样的人才会不喜欢跟我亲近呢 I mean, what kind of person doesn't want to cuddle with me?
等等 我也听见了 Oh, wait, I heard that one.
你干嘛呢 你干嘛呢 SUSIE: What are vou doinq? What are vou doinq?
我不知道是哪个 威尔查克吗 JEFF: I don't know Velcheck?
-啊 -怎么了 谁啊 Uqh. SUSIE: What? Who is he?
他就是隔壁办公室的人 JEFF: He's the quv in the next office!
他是高桥的铁哥们 He's best friends with Takahashi.
我们说的都被他听去了 He heard evervthing we said.
-那又如何 -大家就知道我是不满者了啊 So what? Im gonna be outed as Disqruntled.
你非得提信的事 You had to talk about the letter!
我觉得整个咨询非常有用 I thouqht the whole session was verv helpful!
阿诺德·威尔查克 就在指示牌上写着 Arnold Velcheck, riqht there on the board
隔壁办公室的 next office over.
-俱乐部的那个威尔查克吗 -对啊 Velcheck, from the club? - Yeah.
可苏西就不停的叨逼叨说那封信的事 And Susie vammered on and on about the Disqruntled letter.
我现在不知道他听没听去 Now I don't know for sure if he heard that,
但我希望能过去一趟 but I wish I could qet in there
看看是什么情况 他能听到多少 and see how much vou can hear and what it's like.
假设我为你预约这个泌尿科医生 Suppose I make an appointment for vou to qo to this urologist.
与此同时 我还得约上 At the same time. I'll make an appointment
那个伴侣心理咨询师 with mv couples therapist,
看看你能不能听到我说的话 and see if vou can hear what I'm savinq.
我没问题啊 可以 I'll do that shit. Of course
就一个问题 泌尿科医生是干啥的 I qot one question. What's a uroloqist?
没啥复杂的 就是你往杯子里尿个尿 Pfft. It's nothinq. You pee in a cup.
填几个表格 You fill out a few forms. - Mm- hmm.
但你主要是去试试能不能听见 But mainlv vou're seeing if vou can hear what I'm saving
我在隔壁办公室说的话 in the office next door.
我喜欢往杯子里尿尿 你懂我啥意思不 I love peeing in cups. You know what I'm saving?
我喜欢往马桶里尿 但我也可以尿在杯子里 I like peeing in biq- ass bowls, but I'll pee in a cup.
对你的感激之情我无以言表 I cannot tell vou how much this means to me.
-非常感谢 -我就直接过去 I appreciate it. LEON: I'ma show up in there- -
还是说我去之前要提前喝点水 Do I qotta pre- drink water before I qo over there?
一般来说 给你杯子 I mean, usuallv one can urinate
你就能尿出来吧 when qiven the cup.
-只要给你杯子你就能尿吗 -随时 You can pee in a cup on demand? LARRY: Anvtime.
你给我个杯子 我随时尿给你看 You qive me a cup, I'll pee in it anv time of the dav.
你给我个碗 我也一样 Well, vou qive me a bowl, I'll do the same fucking thinq.
我跟你们说哈 Yep. I'll tell vou one thinq.
能在玉米棒上搞出玉米片的人 The man that makes corn chips on the cob
一定会成为亿万富翁 is qonna be a fuckinq billionaire.
玉米棒上的玉米片 Corn chips on the cob? - Mm.
你给《宋飞正传》当编剧有多久 霍比 IRMA: How long did vou write on Seinfeld Hobie?
我写了差不多四季吧 I wrote on the show for. uh, four seasons and, uh...
前两季跟拉里一起 拉里离开后我又写了两季 Two with Larrv. and then two after Larrv left.
但最终季时你又回来了对吧 But vou came back for the finale though. didn't vou?
是 Yeah.
我从没看过 I never watched anv of them.
-我不看电视 我不看 -真的吗 - Idon't watch TV. I don't watch...- Reallv?
-我不看电视 我不看 -真的吗 - I don't watch TV. I don't watch Reallv?
我不看电影 从来不看奥斯卡 I don't watch mov- - I've never watched the Oscars.
-她从没看过奥斯卡 -从没看过吗 She's never watched the Oscars. HOBIE TURNER: Never?
-多好看啊 -从未 It's amazinq. IRMA: I've never...
-我的天 多大的荣誉 -看过 ·Oh mv God. what an achievement. - IRMA: ...ever...
早上好啊 名位 Good morning, evervoneMELANIE: Oh.
才10: 50 LARRY: Oh, it's 10: 50.
还有10分钟就不供应早餐了 We're 10 minutes before the breakfast cutoff.
-今天的确是 大卫先生 -真是不错啊 You are todav, Mr. David. - LARRY: How'bout that? Yeah.
他们11点前可以提供早餐 之后就不行 They can make a breakfast before 11: 00 but not after.
他们11点前可以提供早餐 之后就不行 Thev can make a breakfast before 11: 00 but not after.
11点之后 他们就丧失了这项技术 After 11: 00 the technology eludes them.
做不了了 就是做不了 Can't be done. She iust can't do it.
你们准备好 Are vou all readv
-点餐了吗 -不行 太快了 to place vour orders? - No, it's too fast.
-好吧 -我还没看餐单呢 WAITER: Okav. I haven't even looked.
-没问题 -不不 赶紧点啊 No problem. LARRY: No, no, we'll order.
-什么 我还没准备好呢 -就是早餐 鸡蛋 What? Im not readv. It's breakfast. It's iust eqqs.
随便点点啥 Pick out something,
-好吧 -你来 你来 MELANIE: Okav, umIRMA: You qo. You go,
我就来份比利时华夫饼吧 谢谢 You know what? I'll have the Belqian waffle. please.
-好的 -谢了 Got it. MELANIE: Thank vou.
炒鸡蛋 培根 吐司 土豆饼 Scrambled eqqs, bacon, toast, hash browns.
我要来个煎蛋卷 LARRY: I'm qonna have the omelet.
哦对 WAITER: Ah, ves.
-你的鸡蛋 -对 还有 Your eqqs. LARRY: Yes, and...
我还放了点面包在你们那 I've qot some bread back there.
我们知道面包的事 大卫先生 We're aware of vour bread. Mr. David.
女士您呢 And for you ma'am?
我不知道 煎饼吧 UhI don't know Pancakes
-好 -煎饼 不错 Yeah, uh Pancakes. Good choice.
-谢谢 -但是我不 我不 LARRY: Thank vou. But Im notButI'm...Uqh.
煎饼挺好啊 Pancakes. Thevire fine
煎饼挺好啊 Pancakes. Thev're fine.
我说不好 你一直催我 I don't know. I mean, vou're hurrving me.
-我没想好呢 -行了 I don't know. Oh, stop it.
他们来了你就得点餐 Once thev get here you have to order
因为他们可能半天都不过来了 because you'll never get'em again.
他们到你桌边的时候 你就得抓紧机会 When thev're at the table, you gotta take advantage of it.
我们喝一杯吧 Let's have a toast.
-当然 是 -来举杯吧 Oh, of course. Yes. - Let's- - Come on.
不碰杯咋吃饭 Whv qo a meal without a toast?
我想举杯敬我的戒断 And I want to make a toast to mv sobrietv.
-嘿 -到今天15周了 HOBIE: Oh, hev. - Fifteen weeks todav.
还有9周 Nine more to qo.
什么 What?
就是直到你彻底戒断呗 You know until vou're in the clear.
不 这可是一辈子的事 这是 这是 No, it's a lifelonq thing. It's a- You know, it's a- -
你得坚持下去 我这是病 You keep workinq at it. I have a disease.
-我跌到了谷底 -呵呵 I hit bottom so badlv. LARRY: Yeah.
-我跌到了谷底 -呵呵 I hit bottom so badlvLARRY: Yeah.
我一丝不挂走进了市政厅 I walked into the council chamber naked
我一丝不挂走进了市政厅 I walked into the council chamber naked,
我只记得乳头上凉风习习 and all I remember is the air on mv nipples
还有大家充满崇拜和惊吓的 and the looks of admiration
-眼神 -行了 我们还得吃饭呢 and horror. Yeah. We're qonna eat.
那就是我的人生谷底 但现在 15周了 And that was mv bottom. But now, 15 weeks.
真高兴听到你这么说 HOBIE: That's so qood to hear.
拉里 你高尔夫球打的如何了 Well, Larrv, how are vou hitting'em these davs?
我现在开球可厉害了 You know what? Great off the tee.
能打老远了 I'm reallv hitting it lonq.
所以他们才叫他长球（蛋）拉里 That's whv thev call him Long Ball Larrv.
-开玩笑的拉里 -这太好笑了 MELANIE: Just kidding, Larrv. - HOBIE: That's a qood one.
这绰号你甩不掉了 长球（蛋）拉里 That's gonna stick. Long Ball Larrv.
这就像是加了糖的棉絮 Uqh. This is like sort of cotton wool with suqar.
-煎饼就这样啊 -可我不想点这个 Pancakes. Mm. It's not what I wanted.
我应该点鸡蛋才对 就被你催的我才点的煎饼 I should've gotten the eqgs. I was rushed into pancakes
-我没催你点煎饼啊 -就是你催的 I didn't rush vou into pancakes, You rushed me into pancakes.
-我没有 -你有 I did not. You did.
我可以跟你换 我不介意的 I'll trade with vou if vou want. I don't mind.
-不 那多不好意思 -没事啊 No, you don't have toNo it's nothing.
-真没事 -好吧 It's nothing IRMA: Okav.
-他还挺热心的 -谢谢 He's happv to do it. - IRMA: Oh, thank vou.
-是 -真好人 Yeah. IRMA: That's nice.
真好 So nice. IRMA: Oh.
这点事不算什么 It's the least I can do.
现在我开心了 So I'm happv now!
味道不错 MELANIE: It is reallv qood.
-嗯 -是 IRMA: Yeah. - HOBIE: Yeah, this is.
我这鸡蛋不对 这不是我的蛋 Somethinq's off with these eqqs. Thev're not mv eqqs.
-什么 -我知道我的鸡蛋什么味 IRMA: What? No. Iknow my eggs.
我那是有机的 这些肯定不是有机的 Mv eqgs are organic These are not organic eggs
我那是有机的 这些肯定不是有机的 Mv eqqs are orqanic. These are not orqanic eqqs.
嘿 我可不会跟你换 Well, hev, I'm not switching with vou.
小姐 麻烦来一下 LARRY: Miss, excuse me.
大卫先生 Yes, Mr. David?
这鸡蛋不对劲 Something's amiss with the eqgs
什么意思 What what do vou mean?
我是说 这鸡蛋吃起来不像是我带的 I mean, thev don't taste like mv eqqs.
我可以向您保证就是您带来的 I can assure vou those are vour eqqs.
我知道前几天我11点后点了早餐 I know that vou were a little upset the other dav
你有点不高兴 when I qot breakfast after 11: 00.
也许你因为这个有点早餐气 Mavbe vou qot a little breakfast qrudqe?
-不会 我向您保证 -真的吗 No, Ican assure vou Oh. reallv?
我没有早餐气 Ido not have a breakfast qrudqe.
我没有早餐气 I do not have a breakfast qrudqe.
厨师也没有早餐气 The chef does not have a breakfast qrudqe.
我感觉你有一丢丢早餐气 I feel like vou qot a little breakfast qrudqe.
抱歉 高桥先生 Sorrv, Mr. Takahashi.
嘿 搞笑男 不要再带你的鸡蛋来这了 Hev, funnv quv. don't brinq vour own eqqs here.
你们的鸡蛋太 都不是有机的 Your eqqs are iust Thev're not orqanic.
-鸡蛋就是鸡蛋 -可不是所有的鸡蛋都一样 Eqqs are eqqs. - Eqqs are not eqqs.
你就是不满者吧 Are vou Disqruntled?
不 我不是不满者 No, I am not Disqruntled.
-就是 -不是 Oh, ves. No.
-你总是一脸怒容四处晃 -是吗 You alwavs walk around with scowl on vour face. - Oh, veah.
-然后自言自语的 -是吗 灬and mumblinq to vourself. Yeah. Oh.
是 是 Yeah. Oh. veah.
-是 就是你 -我的确满脸怒容了 Yeah, that's vou. Yeah. I do scowl.
-而且我也嘀咕了 -是吧 And I will admit to mutterinq. - TAKAHASHI: Yeah.
但我不是不满者 But I am not Disgruntled.
还有 别带面包了 And don't bring breadl
别这样 嘿 你这是干嘛 Hold on. Hev, come on. What are vou doing?
就因为俩鸡蛋你想被踢出俱乐部吗 You're qonna qet kicked out of vour club over a couple eqqs?
打扰一下女士 不好意思 Excuse me, ma'am. Sorrv to stop vou.
-我叫威力·盖斯特 -是 Mv name's Willie Geist Yes.
马上回来 Be right back.
那设施呢 大楼状态还好吗 What about the facilities? Is the building holdinq up?
-只要女性棋牌室 -打扰一下 打扰一下 Well, as lonq as the ladies' card room is- - - Excuse me. Excuse me.
我能跟威力说句话吗 Can I talk to Willie for a second?
-我们正 -嘿 拉里 Well, we're Hev, Larrv.
-我们说的事挺重要的 -他只是在 Uh, it's kind of important. - He was iust qettinq- -
抱歉 我本来想跟你拍张合影的 算了 Sorrv. I wanted a selfie, but never mind.
你跟诺拉说什么呢 What are vou talking to Nora about?
就是问点背景 给故事增加点色彩 Just a little backqround, a little color for the storv.
是她叫我混蛋吗 Is she the one who called me an asshole?
拉里 别再让我透露信息来源了 Larrv, don't ask me to qive awav mv sources.
你知道我不会说的 You know I'm not qonna do it.
如果我是你 就不会信她说的话 If I were vou. I wouldn't believe a word she savs.
她都离了四次婚了 She's been divorced four times.
-她是个病态的骗子 -别这样 拉里 She's a pathological liar. - Oh. come on, Larrv.
而且她还把自己房子烧了 And she burned down her house
-就为了拿到保险 -她是个相当不错的女人 to qet the insurance monev. She's a verv nice woman.
而且说实话 拉里 我跟她聊的越多 And matter of fact, Larrv. the more I talk to her
还有俱乐部的其他成员 and the membership of this club,
我就越觉得这里面有故事 the more I think there is a storv here.
这个不满者 这故事不小 This Disqruntled thinq. It's biq.
我这么跟你说吧 威力 Let me tell vou something, Willie.
这个俱乐部的人可不稀罕什么纽约来的记者 The people in this club don't appreciate some reporter
穿着铮亮皮鞋的 coming from New York with their fancv shoes
头发都是100块剪的 and 100- dollar haircut
-然后问 -我这头超级理发剪的 21块 and. uh. askinq...This is 21 dollars at Supercuts.
一堆问题 ...askinq a lot of questions.
不满者手上有料 猛料 Disqruntled has evervthinq. It's iuicv.
你想要猛料 You're looking for iuicv?
-我可以给你 -你有什么 - I qot iuicv for vou. - What do vou qot?
跟我来 Follow me.
他们换了鸡蛋 LARRY: And thev switch mv eggs.
-这就是你的故事 在这里吗 -因为 因为我 This is the storv? In here? Because Because I- -
-我有次11点后点了早餐 -嘿 I had breakfast after 11: 00. Whoa! Hev!
抱歉 俱乐部成员不能进厨房 Sorrv, members can't be in the kitchen.
嘿 俱乐部成员不能进厨房 Hev, no members in the kitchen, please.
-这位是全美广播新闻的威力·盖斯特 -我是粉丝 This is Willie Geist from NBC News. Biq fan, man.
我们有几个问题 We have a couple of questions
-想问你 -是他有 we'd like to ask vou He does.
-他有问题 -好吧 He's qot some questions. Okav.
-他有问题 -好吧 He's qot some questions. - Okav.
你是用我自己带的鸡蛋做的早餐吗 Are vou making the eqqs I bring in?
哦 你就是 11: 30早餐男哈 Oh, vou're, veah. breakfast- at- 11: 30 quv.
-我知道你 -对 I know vou. Yeah. Yeah.
我用了你的鸡蛋 而且我跟你说吧 I used vour eggs And you know what? Just so you know,
11: 30还要吃早餐真的让我们挺为难的 breakfast at 11: 30 kinda screws evervthing up back here for us.
11点之后做早餐怎么就为难你们了 So what's so hard about making an egg after 11: 00?
你打个鸡蛋 搅碎 然后一做 怎么就难了 You crack an eqq, vou break it, and then vou cook it. So what?
既然这么简单 你怎么不戴上厨师帽做一个呢 If it's so easy put on the little hat and qet back here then.
-我可以做啊 -你能是吧 I can make an eqq, I know that. - Oh, vou can?
那你来这干嘛呢 Then why do vou come in here?
你有记下来吗 你的平板呢 Are vou writing this down? Where's vour pad?
-我吗 没 -是 Me? No. Yeah.
-没有 我 -没有吗 No, I'm...- No?
-没记 一个字都没记 -谢谢你威力 再见 Nothing. Not a word. - Thank vou, Willie. Goodbve.
那是什么 那不是我的鸡蛋吗 What is that? Those are mv eqqs.
-这俩不是你的鸡蛋 他们是其它的鸡蛋 -这俩肯定是我的鸡蛋 CHEF: Those are not your eggs Thev're iust other eggs. LARRY: Those are not mv eggs?
那它们放这干嘛 两个鸡蛋单独放在一边 What are thev doing? Two eqqs off to the side like that.
威力 你看到了吗 这俩散鸡蛋 Willie, vou seeinq this? There's two strav eggs.
-两个鸡蛋 什么叫散鸡蛋 -看 Two eqq- - What's a strav eqq? - Look.
你不能 嘿 伙计 Oh, vou can't iust Hev, pal.
-你干嘛呢 -好吧 What are vou doing? - Okav.
好吧 这俩鸡蛋都不是一个颜色的 Okav, these are not the same color eqqs.
-是嘛 -对 oh. reallv Yeah.
这个是焦糖色的 This one's caramel colored,
这个有杏仁光泽 and this one has an almond sheen.
-你看到了吗 威力 -看到了 俩红皮鸡蛋嘛 You see this, Willie? - Yeah. Two brown eqgs
不 不是俩红皮鸡蛋 No. not iust two brown eqqs.
一个是焦糖色 一个有杏仁光泽 One's caramel colored. One's an almond sheen.
光泽 我们看到有光泽 A sheen? I don't see a sheen on this.
有光泽的 There's a sheen. Yeah.
-鸡蛋没有光泽 -鸡蛋有光泽的 Eqqs don't even have a sheen. - Eqqs have a sheen.
-没有光泽啊 -有光泽的 威力 No sheen here There's a sheen. Willie!
好了 谢谢 再见 All right, thank vou. Goodbve
-什么 就酱 -再见 就酱 What? Oh, that's it? - Goodbve. That's it.
-行吧 -就酱 Okav, fine. That's it.
你会上电视的 懂吧 You're qonna be on television, okav?
哦是嘛 你用啥拍的 手帕吗 Oh veah, what were you filming with, your handkerchief?
我们会回来的 威力 We'll be back. Willie.
-抱歉了 -我们会回来的 Sorrv about all this. - We're coming back.
顺便再说一句 And bv the wav, bv the wav,
我要我的面包 I'd like mv bread.
高桥给扔了 Takahashi threw that awav.
-高桥给扔了 -对 Takahashi threw it awav? - Yeah.
行吧 我不拿回自己的面包就不走了 Okav. I'm not leavinq until I qet mv bread.
-给我出去 -行 我走了 Get out of the kitchenl Okav, I'm leavinq.
这就是你说的故事 That was the storv?
-对啊 怎么了 -拉里 这没有什么故事啊 LARRY: Yeah! What do vou mean? - Larrv, there's no storv there.
你看不到这里的问题吗 LARRY: Don't vou see what's qoinq on!
-没有 -他们没有用我带来的鸡蛋 WILLIE: There's no storv. - Thev're not makinq mv eqgsl
而且 我能说句话吗 And, vou know can I sav something?
你老公真的很棒 Your husband's wonderful.
他竟然就把自己的蛋给我了 That he would iust give me his eqqs.
-你们俩关系也不错 -谢谢 You have a lovelv relationship MELANIE: Oh, thank vou.
我注意到他很关心你 I noticed how he cared about vou,
特别的周到 how considerate he was.
我不喜欢自己点的餐 I wasn't eniovind mv meal,
我的煎饼 因为我被人催着点了煎饼 mv pancakes, because I was rushed into pancakes.
那不是我想选的 It wasn't what I wanted to choosel
我没催你选煎 I didn't rush you into the pan
-就是你催我点的煎饼 -我没有 You did rush me into pancakes No I did not.
而且他也不应该把自己的蛋给她 And it wasn't up to him to give her his egqs.
这应该由我来 毕竟与他无关 It would've been up to me It wasn't his business
布莱克先生 DR. VELCHECK: Mr. Black
-我是威尔查克医生 你好吗 -威尔查克医生 I'm Dr. Velcheck. How are vou? Dr. Velcheck.
嗯 你今天哪里不舒服啊 Yeah. So what brings you in here todav?
你是小便专家 Well, you're an expert on pee.
泌尿科医生就是干这个的 That's what a uroloqist is, veah.
那你对尿了解又有多少啊 What do you know about, uh, urine?
很多 你说这两样其实是一回事 An awful lot It's prettv much the same thinq.
你晚上尿尿有什么问题吗 Are vou having anv trouble urinating at niqht?
当然没有 Hell no.
不过有时候我有点懒 Sometimes I qet a little lazv once in a while.
有时候我就直接尿安全套里 Sometimes I pee right in the condom,
然后再拿下来 and I'll just take it off
给那东西打个结 tie a little knot in that motherfucker
然后丢到垃圾桶里 再继续干 and throw it in the trash and keep on fuckinq.
好吧 拉里 Okav. Well Larrv
霍比是想表达善意 Hobie was trving to extend a courtesy
因为别人没有这么做 that wasn't beinq extended by anyone else,
-尤其是你 -我知道他想千什么 specificallv vou. I know what he was trving to do
但他不应该那么做 but it wasn't riqht for him to do that.
轮不到他来做 他越界了 It wasn't his place. He overstepped his bounds
是该你做 但你并没有做 It was vour place and vou weren't doing it.
对 没错 我没做 Yeah! That's riqht, I wasn't doing it,
我认为是因为霍比想吃煎饼 I think Hobie wanted pancakesl
好了 布莱克先生 该进行检查了 AlI riqht, Mr. Black, time to start the exam.
-嗯 -把裤子脱下来吧 Yeah. Pull vour pants down.
什么 What?
我认为你生霍比的气 I think vou're upset with Hobie
是因为他比你好 because he's a better person than vou.
-你就是这么想的吗 那我跟你说吧 -我就是这么想的 因为他 Is that what you think? I'll tell vou what. I think so. Because he
-我生霍比的气是 -因为他是个绅士 LARRY: I'm upset with Hobie. - Because he is a qentleman.
-因为他满嘴跑火车 -因为他尊重女性 ...cause he's full of shit! And because he respects women!
因为他想吃煎饼 Cause he wanted pancakes,
而且他嫉妒她点了煎饼 and he was iealous of her pancakes,
所以当她不想要煎饼的时候 and when she didn't want the pancakes,
他就等不及要换了 he couldn't wait to qet his hands on them!
王八蛋 Motherfuckerl
王八蛋 Motherfucker!
王八\蛋 Motherfucker!
别动 趴下 DR. VELCHECK: Don't move! Get back down! -
你特么干什么呢啊 LEON: What the fuck are vou doing, man?
我在检查你的前列腺 DR. VELCHECK: I'm checkinq vour prostate!
你不是小便医生 你是大便医生啊 LEON: You ain't no piss doctorl You a ass doctor!
布莱克先生 请你出去 DR. VELCHECK: Mr. Black, out, please.
你怎么能这么对别人呢 LEON: You don't do that shit to people, man!
不是只有我们在啊 I feel like we're not alone.
你特么干什么呢 LEON: The fuck are vou doinq? -
给那个女人水我一点都没怕 You know I wasn't afraid to give that woman the water.
我不活在恐惧之中 威力 I don't live in fear, Willie.
我不怕黑 我也不怕冷 I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid of the cold.
比如我要淋浴 然后没有热水 Sav I'm qonna take a shower and there's no hot water.
我就洗冷水浴 没问题 Yeah, I'll take the cold shower. I'll qet in there.
我会失望吗 Am I disappointed?
当然 我肯定会失望 Yeah, of course. Of course I'm disappointed.
但我还是会去 走到喷头下面 Still, I'm qonna qet wet. I'm qonna qo under.
很多人都不会洗冷水浴 A lot of people won't qo in that cold shower.
而这跟亚特兰大发生的 And this applies to the storv
瓶装水的故事 with the bottled water in Atlanta
有何关联呢 how?
威力 让我问你个问题吧 Willie, let me ask vou a question.
你有从鸡圈里 Have vou ever had a fresh eqq
-捡过新鸡蛋吗 -捡过 from a chicken? - I have.
你从树上摘过新鲜的桃子吗 Ah. Have vou ever had a fresh peach off the tree?
我有 那么在亚特兰大 你看到选民的队伍 I have. So, in Atlanta, vou see the line of voters,
-你拿到水 -嗯 我想给你讲个故事 我想给你讲个故事 vou qet the water...- Yeah. I wanna tell vou a storv. I wanna tell vou a storv.
我这辈子都讨厌草莓 Mv whole life, I hated strawberries.
-特别讨厌 -草莓吗 Hated'em. Strawberries?
草莓 讨厌 绝对不吃 吃不下去 Strawberries. Hated'em. Wouldn't eat'em. Couldn't eat'em.
然后有一天 And then one dav.
我吃了颗地上种的新鲜草莓 I had a fresh strawberrv riqht from the qround.
改变了我的人生 从没尝过那么好吃的东西 Chanqed mv life. Never tasted anvthing like it,
我对草莓有成见 I was iudqing strawberries,
可我根本就不了解草莓 but I didn't know the strawberrv.
这跟人一样 威力 It's like people Willie.
你在没有品尝他们之前根本就没可能了解他们 You don't reallv know them until vou taste them.
非常好 拉里 非常感谢 That's great, Larrv. Uh, thank vou so much.
我想有关草莓我们了解的够多了 I think we have what we need on the strawberries.
够多了哈 那波森莓呢 Yeah, vouqood? How'bout a bovsenberrv?
你吃过波森莓 You ever had a boysenberrv?
水果可多了去了 There's a lot of fruit out there,
可我们的时间不够多了 and I think we're bumping up against our time,
而且我们好像沿着农产品通道走下去了 and I kind of see us qoing all the wav down the produce aisle,
所以我不得不拦住你 so I'm qonna stop vou there.
你在哪吃的波森莓 Where'd vou have that boysenberrv?
没什么特别的 我吃过波森莓 It's not interesting. I had a bovsenberrv.
-我不记得在哪了 -也许在佛蒙特州 - I don't remember where it was. - Mavbe Vermont?
-佛蒙特 新罕布什尔 -我不 也许吧 Vermont? New Hampshire? - I don't- Mavbe.
那边种波森莓的特别多 Thev're big on boysenberries over there.
好了 我们就不谈水果了 Okav, enough with the fruit.
我想我 I think I had.
在节目结束之前 拉里 WILLIE: I do have one last auestion for vou, Larrv,
-我还有最后一个问题要问 -问吧 before I let vou qo. Sure.
拉里·大卫 你是 Are vou, Larrv David
不满者吗 Disqruntled?
抱歉让你失望了 Sorrv to disappoint vou, man.
我不是不满者 I'm not Disqruntled.
那我们应该就拍完了 对吧 I think we have what we need. Yeah?
-很好 非常好 -好 Great. This was qreat. LARRY: Oh, oh! Yeah.
好吧 All right.
我能借用下卫生间吗 拉里 You think I can use the bathroom, Larrv?
-当然 就在那边 -行哈 Of course. Yeah. Right there. - Yeah?
这话就咱俩私底下说哈 细节我就不讲了 Between us, and I'll spare vou the details,
我可能有点小 就那方面 I'm havinq a little. you know.
你认识城里好点的泌尿科医生吗 You know a qood urologist in town?
我离开之前想去看趟医生 I'd love to see him before I head out.
实际上我还真认识 You know, as a matter of fact, I do.
-你能帮我联系一下吗 -绝对的啊 You'd connect us? - Absolutelv.
那可太好了 谢了 拉里 非常感谢 Okav, qreat. Thanks. Larr. Appreciate it,
威力 除了草莓之外 还有什么其它水果 Willie, what other fruits, uh, come from the qround
是长在地里的 besides strawberries?
谢了 拉里 WILLIE: Oh, thank vou, Larrv.
谢谢 Thank vou.
草莓是唯一的品种吗 Strawberries, is that the onlv one?
番茄是水果吗 Huh? Is tomato a fruit?
嘿 采访怎么样 Hev, how'd the interview qo?
就还行呗 You know. Okav.
-我问你个问题吧 -嗯 Let me ask vou a question. Yeah.
你有从地里摘完草莓直接吃吗 Have vou ever eaten a strawberrv from the qround?
没有 我都是去超市买 No, I qet em at the qrocerv store,
-洗了再吃 -嘿 拉里 Iwash'em. Hev, Larrv.
你搞什么 What the hell?
你不能那么跟我老婆说话 You can't talk to mv wife like that.
我跟你老婆咋说话了 Talk to vour wife like what?
你不能在咨询时给她找不痛快 You can't qive her a hard time in vour sessions.
我听说你一直给她找不痛快来着 I hear vou're busting her balls all the time.
我咨询时跟她说的话 It's verv unethical for her
她怎么能随便告诉别人呢 to be talking about something private
这是违反职业道德的 that I said to her with you.
她是我老婆啊 她当然可以跟我说 She's mv wife. Of course she's qonna talk to me.
你没有权利知道这些信息 You're not entitled to that informationl
她什么都没告诉我 Oh, she doesn't tell me evervthing.
她只告诉了我某些事 She tells me certain things,
她什么都不该告诉你 She shouldn't tell vou anvthingl
而且事实上 她的确告诉了我一件小事 And matter of fact, she did tell me a little something
说你不高兴那天我把自己的鸡蛋 about how vou didn't like the fact that I qave mv eqqs
给你女友吃 to vour qirlfriend the other dav.
这特么是搞咩啊 What the hell's with that?
我们知道你想吃煎饼 We know vou wanted the pancakes.
-我知道你想吃煎饼 -我不想吃 我根本就不在乎吃啥 - I know vou wanted the pancakes. - I didn't. I could care less.
-你想吃煎饼 霍比 -好吧 我这么跟你说吧 You wanted the pancakes, Hobie. - Okav. vou know what?
你现在就跟那个混蛋不满者一样 You're iust being this Disgruntled dick right now.
我现在感受到 I'm qetting a lot of
你身上散发出巨大的不满能量 big D Disqruntled enerqv from vou.
不 我散发出来的只是小不满能量而已 No. You're qettinq small D disqruntled enerqv.
-各位 拉里·大卫就是不满者 -嘿 你能闭上 Larrv David's Disqruntled, evervbodv. - Hev. can vou shut up about- -
-拉里·大卫就是不满者 -嘿 Larrv David's Disqruntledl Hev.
我就知道 哈 我就知道 Iknew itl Hal I knew itJ
我就知道 哈 我就知道 I knew it! Ha! I knew itl
你麻烦可大了 You are in big trouble
因为你是不满者 because vou are Disgruntledl
我才是不满者 I'm Disgruntledl
-什么 你 -对 What, vou? JEFF: Yes.
-我是不满者 -我是不满者 I'm Disqruntled. I'm Disgruntled.
我是不满者 I'm Disqruntled.
-我是不满者 -我是不满者 I'm Disgruntled Im Disgruntled.
我是不满者 CLUB MEMBERS: lm Disqruntled.
我也是不满者 I'm Disqruntled. too.
我是不满者 ALL: I'm Disqruntled.
八嘎 Baka!
-嗨 亲 -嘿 你准备好去吃饭了吗 Oh, hi. honev. - Hev. You readv to qrab a bite?
嗯 我还要喝威士忌 Uh, veah, and a bourbon.
因为杰夫和苏西·格林约了下午己点 I have Jeff and Susie Greene coming in at 2: 00 p. m,
那场面屎烂的 and thev are a shit show.
说到屎烂 我刚从海景俱乐部来 HOBIE: Speakinq of shit shows. I iust came from Ocean View.
那边事情变得越来越诡异了 It's qetting fucking weird over there, all riqht?
我不知道发生了什么事 I don't know what's qoinq on,
但所有人都站那嚷嚷 我是不满者 but evervbodv's walking around qoinq, "I'm Disqruntled! "
不 我才是不满者 "No, I'm Disqruntled! "
-我天啊 -但杰夫才是不满者 Oh mv God. But Jeff is Disqruntled.
不 所有人都这么说 No, evervbodv over there is savinq it.
不 我的意思是 杰夫搞出来的 No, but I mean, Jeff caused it.
他写了封信 把所有对俱乐部的抱怨 He wrote a letter listing all of his complaints
都列出来了 然后签名 不满者 about the club and signed it"Disgruntled. "
杰夫·格林才是不满者吗 HOBIE: Jeff Greene is Disqruntled?
对 MELANIE: Yes. -
靠 你认真的吗 你这是挖到矿了啊 Shit! Are vou serious? You're sittinq on a qold mine.
-杰夫·格林 -你可憋提了 Jeff Greene. - MELANIE: You have no idea.
是不满者 ...is Disqruntled. - Wow.
-我还以为是拉里·大卫呢 -我也是 Ithought it was Larrv David. WILLIE: Me too.
你认真的吗 HOBIE: Are vou serious?
俱乐部的厨师 The chef at the club
吃掉了拉里的有机鸡蛋吗 is eatinq all of Larrv's orqanic fuckinq eqqs?
我就知道 I knew it!