Random thoughts
for Valentine's Day, 2004.
Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies...
to make people feel like crap.
I ditched work today.
Took a train out to Montauk
I don't know why.
I'm not an impulsive person.
I guess I just woke up in a funk this morning.
I need to get my car fixed.
Hi, Cindy. It's Joel. Joel!
I don't feel very well today.
no, food poisoning, I think
It's goddamn freezing on this beach.
Montauk in February - brilliant, Joel.
Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that.
It appears this is my first entry in two years.
Sand is overrated.
It's just tiny little rocks.
If only I could meet someone new.
I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished...
since I'm incapable of making eye contact
with a woman I don't know.
Maybe I should get back together with naomi.
She was nice.
nice is good.
She loved me.
Why do I fall in love with every woman I see...
who shows me the least bit of interest?
Hi.
I'm sorry?
I just said hi.
Hi, hello.
Okay if I sit closer?
How far are you going?
Rockville Center.
Me, too.
Really?
What are the odds?
Do I know you?
Do you ever shop at Barnes and noble?
Sure.
That's it! I've seen you.
Book slave there for five years now.
I would have thought I would remember you.
It might be the hair.
What might?
It changes a lot. The color.
That's why you might not recognize me.
It's called Blue Ruin.
The color.
Snappy name, huh?
I like it.
This company makes a whole line of colors with snappy names.
Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution...
That would be a job, coming up with those names.
You think there could possibly be a job like that?
How many hair colors could there be?
Fifty?
Someone's got that job.
Agent Orange.
I came up with that one.
I apply my personality in a paste.
I doubt that very much.
Well, you don't know me, so
you don't know, do you?
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be nice.
I got it.
My name's Clementine, by the way.
I'm Joel.
Hi, Joel.
no jokes about my name.
Oh no. You wouldn't do that.
You're trying to be nice.
I don't know any jokes about your name.
Huckleberry Hound.
I don't know what that means.
Huckleberry Hound?
What are you, nuts?
It's been suggested.
Oh, my darling, oh, my darling, oh, my darling Clementine...
You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine.
Sorry. It's a pretty name, though. Really nice.
It means merciful, right?
Clemency?
Although it hardly fits.
I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
I wouldn't think that about you.
Why wouldn't you?
I don't know.
You seemed nice.
now I'm nice?
Don't you know any other adjectives?
I don't need to be nice.
And I don't need anybody to be nice to me.
Okay.
Joel?
It's Joel, right?
Yes.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
I'm a little of out sorts today.
My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice right now.
I can't tell from one moment to the next
what I'm going to like, but...
right now I'm glad you are.
I have some stuff that I probably should...
Oh! I'm sorry.
Okay. no...
Sure. That's okay.
Take care, then.
Jesus.
Hi. I could give you a ride if you need.
It's cold.
Yeah! Okay.
It is frosty.
You're not a stalker or anything, right?
I'm not a stalker.
You're the one that talked to me, remember?
That is the oldest trick in the stalker book
Really? There's a stalker book?
I've got to read that one.
I'm sorry if I came off sort of nutso.
I'm not really.
That's okay. I didn't think you were.
Do you want to have a drink?
I have lots of drinks, and I could --
never mind. That was stupid.
I'm embarrassed now. Goodnight.
Two Blue Ruins.
Thank you.
Drink up, young man.
It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
I'm just kidding! Come on.
You're kind of closed-mouthed, aren't you?
I'm sorry.
You know, my life isn't that interesting.
I go to work, I come home...
I don't know what to say.
You should read my journal.
It's just... blank
Really?
Does that make you sad or anxious?
I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest.
Taking advantage of every possibility and...
making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.
I think about that.
You're really nice.
I have to stop saying that.
I'm gonna marry you.
I know it.
Okay.
Joel. You should come up to the Charles with me sometime.
It gets frozen this time of year.
That sounds scary.
Fxactly.
I'll pack a picnic - a night picnic
- night picnics are different.
That sounds good.
But I should go now.
You should stay.
I really have to get up so early and...
I would like you to call me.
Would you do that?
I'd like it.
Yes.
Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call.
That'd be nice.
What took you so long?
I just walked in.
You miss me?
Oddly enough, I do.
You said I do.
I guess that means we're married.
I guess so.
Tomorrow night?
Honeymoon on Ice?
It's really solid this time of year.
I don't know...
Come on...
It's so beautiful.
Isn't it?
Don't go too far!
Are you okay?
Oh, my ass!
I think I should go back
Come on!
But what if it breaks?
What if?. Do you really care right now?
Come here, please.
Slidey-slidey, slidey-slidey.
This looks good.
Let me show you this one thing.
What are you doing?
Come on.
Think I heard a crack
It's not going to crack
Or break It's so thick
Show me which constellations you know.
I don't know.
I don't know any.
Show me which ones you know.
Okay.
Oh! There's Osidius.
Where?
Right there. See?
A sort of a swoop and a cross.
Osidius the Fmphatic.
You're full of shit, right?
no. Osidius right there.
Swoop and a cross.
Shut up!
Sorry to wake you, but we're here.
Can I come over to your house...
to sleep? I'm so tired.
Okay.
Sure.
Let me get my toothbrush.
Yes?
Can I help you?
What do you mean?
Can I help you with something?
no.
What are you doing here?
I'm not really sure what you're asking me.
Oh.
Thanks.
Is that him?
I think so.
Yeah, that's him.
Hey, Joel.
Frank
Shit.
The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother.
How pathetic is that?
You're lucky you have Clementine.
She is way cool.
You got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?
no.
It's only a day away.
Better make some reservations or something.
Don't want to end up at Mickey D's, right?
McRomance!
You want some fries with that shake?
I have to go to sleep now, Frank
It's 8:30.
Patrick, stop it.
Okay.
Showtime at the Apollo.
Quiet.
Get it off your head.
Hey, Joel. What's up?
Hi, Frank
I only get Valentine's Day cards from my mom.
How pathetic is that?
You're lucky you have Clementine.
You got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?
no.
It's only a day away.
Better make a reservation somewhere.
Don't want to end up at Mickey D's.
Oh, no.
Yes.
Valentine's Day is three days away.
I want it resolved.
I'm willing to be the one to resolve it.
So I call her, and she's changed her number.
So I walked over to Antic Attic to get her something.
I thought I'd go over to work, give her an early Valentine...
and you won't believe it?
She's there...
with this guy, this really young guy.
And she looks at me like she doesn't even know who I am.
Fxcuse me?
an I help you find something, sir?
Hey, Clem-ato.
Patrick! Baby boy!
What are you doing here, baby?
Just came to surprise you.
Let me know if you need something.
How are you?
Pretty good, pretty bored, pretty tired.
I so want what's in your suit.
Oh, good.
Why would she do that to me?
Does anybody want a joint?
Rob, give it a rest.
She's punishing me.
For being honest..
I should just go to her house.
no. You don't want to go there.
Get off me. It's too...
Right.
I don't want to seem desperate.
Joel, why don't you just see this as a sign?
Make a clean break
Alright, seriously, here's the deal.
Don't do that.
Rob, what are you doing?
What's your fucking suggestion?!
What's your brilliant, reasoned solution?
You're going to make this about our shit now?
This isn't about us.
I agree. It's not about us.
It's about Joel, who's an adult.
not Mama Carrie's kid.
Why don't you go do your laundry!
That's great. That's good.
Okay.
What is it?! I don't know.
It's some place that does a thing...
Good morning. Lacuna.
no, I'm sorry.
That offer expired after the new Year.
Sure.
We can fit you in... how about on the 5th?
That's a Wednesday.
Great. Could you spell that, please?
Okay. And we'll need a daytime phone number.
Great. Have a nice day. See you then.
May I help you?
I'm Joel Barish.
Fxcuse me?
I'm Joel Barish.
I have an appointment with doctor...
Mierzwiak Here.
Could you please fill this out?
I just want to talk to him.
You still need to fill the form out.
Really?
Thank you.
I don't have a pen.
There's a pen right there.
Good morning. Lacuna.
Oh, that offer expired after the new Year.
Mister Barish?
How are we today?
not too good, actually.
Oh my God! Stan!
Sorry. I was just
I'm working.
Here, Doctor.
Thank you.
You should not have seen this.
I apologize.
This is a hoax, right?
I mean, this is Clem's
I assure you, no.
There's no such thing as this.
Our files are confidential, so I can't show you evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss Kruczynski was not happy...
and she wanted to move on.
We provide that possibility.
...was not happy, and wanted to move on.
We provide that possibility.
What the hell is that?
I'm the nicest guy she ever went out with.
Ah, fuck!
Rob, give it a rest!
It's okay.
I am making a birdhouse.
Joel, you know Clementine's just like that.
So impulsive.
She decided to erase you as a lark
A lark?
Why did you do that?
Wait, wait!
I want it done. now.
I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time -
That's okay, Mary.
But there are people waiting.
Mister Barish, if you'd like to come inside.
Mary, if you'd take care of Mrs. Woo.
Goodbye, Mrs. Woo. Of course.
The first thing we need you to do, Mister Barish...
is to go home and collect everything you own that has...
some association with Clementine.
Anything.
We'll use these items...
to create a map of Clementine in your brain.
We'll need photos, clothing...
gifts, books she may have bought you...
CD's you may have bought together, journal entries...
We want to empty your home...
We want to empty your life of Clementine.
After the mapping is done,
our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight.
That way, when you awake in the morning,
you'll find yourself in your...
own bed, as if nothing has happened, a new life awaiting you.
Wake up, buddy!
I'm sorry, Mrs. Sobel.
You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.
It's just not our policy here.
How are you today, Mister Barish?
I know it's an emergency.
We'll do everything we can.
We can fit you in on March 1st.
Maybe you could talk to the Doctor.
What day would you like to come in this week?
Mister Barish!
February is very busy for us because of Valentine's Day.
This is Stan Fink,
one of our most experienced and skilled technicians.
He'll be handling your case tonight.
Great to meet you, Mister Barish.
My name is Joel Barish...
and I'm here to erase Clementine Kruczynski.
Very good. now tell me about Clementine.
I was living with this woman, naomi...
a couple years ago, and my friends, Rob and Carrie...
invited us to this party at the beach.
I don't like parties.
And naomi couldn't go, but I went...
and I met Clementine.
I'm sorry.
We'll start with your most recent memories,
and work backwards from there.
There's an emotional core to each of our memories...
and when you eradicate that core, it starts its degradation process.
By the time you wake up in the morning,
all the memories we've targeted...
will have withered and disappeared.
As in a dream upon waking.
Is there any risk of brain damage?
Technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage.
But it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.
nothing you'll miss.
Comfortable?
What we're doing here is actually creating a map of your brain.
Let's get started.
If we want to get this procedure underway tonight,
we have some work to do.
I want you to react to these objects.
There's a good story behind that
I'll get a much better emotional read-out...
if you refrain from any sort of verbal description of the items.
Just please try to focus on the memories.
Sorry.
Healthy activity up there again.
Healthy read-outs.
Very good.
Here's another object.
next item.
Po-ta-to head.
next item.
Just focus on the memories.
Patrick, do me a favor, will you?
Can you check the voltage regulator?
Voltage looks fine.
Really?
I'm not wiping as clean as I like here.
Technically, the procedure is brain damage.
But it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.
Check the connections, please.
There you are.
I don't understand what I'm looking at.
Why am I standing here and...
Oh, my God, deja vu.
This is so... We should get started.
If we want to get the procedure...
underway tonight, we have some work to do.
I'm in my head already, aren't I?
I suppose so.
This is what it would look like.
Very good.
We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here.
Then you won't be confused later
by their unexplainable presence in your home.
Patrick?
Why are there so many wires?
Because we have a lot of equipment.
Does that help?
Are you sure you set that thing up properly?
I don't know if I like this.
Ah, yourjournal.
That'll be invaluable.
I met someone tonight. I don't know what to do.
Her name's Clementine and she's amazing.
Whoa, Jesus! What? What?
Careful! Step back!
It's fine.
Let's not roach the guy.
Alright. We got that one.
This place is sort of a dump, don't you think?
It's an apartment, Patrick
Patrick
Well, not a dump, but sort of plain.
Uninspired.
And there's sort of a stale smell.
Patrick Can we just get through this?
We've got a long night ahead of us.
This is the last time I saw you.
It's three o'clock
I kind of wrecked your car.
Driving drunk
It's pathetic.
I was a little tipsy.
Don't call me pathetic!
It is pathetic.
It's irresponsible.
You could have killed somebody.
Maybe you did kill somebody.
Should we turn on the news and see?
Should I check the grill to see if there's children or small animals?
It's just a fucking dent.
You're like an old lady or something.
What are you like?
A wino?
Jesus.
Are you from the 50's or something?
A wino?
Face it.
You're freaked out because I was out late without you...
and in your little, wormy brain, you're trying to figure out...
Did she fuck someone tonight?
See, Clem, I assume you fucked someone tonight.
Isn't that how you get people to like you?
I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean it.
Your keys.
I won't need them anymore.
I was just angry or annoyed or something.
Clem.
Got it.
Mary's coming over tonight.
Just thought you'd want to know.
I like when Mary comes to visit.
I just don't think she likes me.
She likes you okay.
So maybe I should invite my girlfriend over.
I have a girlfriend now.
Do whatever you want.
Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
We have to focus here.
The thing is, my situation is a little weird.
My girlfriend situation.
I'm sure it is.
Clem, let me drive you home.
Get out of my face, faggot!
Look at it out here!
It's all falling apart!
I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!
You did it to me first!
I can't believe you did this to me!
Goddamnit!
Clem. Did you hear me?
By morning you'll be gone!
The perfect ending to this piece of shit story!
Is there something wrong with a girl being attracted to me?
no. I think it's funny.
Who do you think's better- looking, me or this guy?
Patrick, let's focus.
Remember that girl we did last week?
The one with the potatoes?
That girl?
That's this guy's girlfriend.
Was. We took care of that.
I kind of fell in love with her that night.
What?
You little fucker.
What?
She was unconscious.
She was beautiful, and I stole a pair of her panties, too.
Jesus!
They were clean.
I don't want to hear this shit.
They were clean.
Stop. We've got work to do.
Okay. Fine.
There's more.
After we did her, I kind of asked her out.
Jesus.
Do you know how unethical...?
It's not really that bad.
Get that look off your face.
What's wrong?
You stole a girl's panties.
There's someone here... he stole your underwear.
I don't see anyone.
Joel, where are my boots?
I'm crawling out of my skin!
I should have left you at the flea market.
Want to go?
I want to have a baby.
Let's talk about it later.
no. I want to have a baby.
I don't think we're ready.
You're not ready.
Do you really think you could take care of a kid?
What?
I don't want to talk about it here.
I can't hear you.
I can never understand what you're saying!
I said I don't want to talk about this!
We're fucking gonna talk about it!
You can't just say you don't want to talk about it!
I'm sorry.
I'd make a fucking good mother!
I love children.
I'm creative and I'm smart!
It's you, Joel.
It's you who can't commit to anything.
It's going! It's going. You're lucky I'm interested in you.
I don't even know why I am.
Maybe I should end it right here! It's over.
Leave you at the flea market, with the costume jewelry!
Maybe you can find a nice antique rocking chair to die in!
All the pain. Confusion... Hi, Patrick
How's it going, Mary?
It's freezing outside.
Find us okay?
Yeah.
Hot.
Poor guy.
Do you have anything real to drink?
We haven't checked yet.
Patrick?
Let me do the honors.
Mary hates me.
never really had much luck with the ladies.
Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.
You didn't want any, did you, Patrick?
no. That's okay.
Wait.
Blessed are the forgetful,
for they get the better even of their blunders.
That's nietzsche.
Beyond Good and Fvil.
I found it in my Bartlett's.
What's your Bartlett's?
It's a quote book
It's a book of quotations.
I think Howard will be in Bartlett's one day.
Definitely.
Howard is pure Bartlett's.
Can you wake him up?
You can't wake him up.
You don't tell me things.
I'm an open book
I tell you everything.
Fvery damn embarrassing thing.
You don't trust me.
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
I don't do that.
I want to know you.
I don't constantly talk
Jesus.
People have to share things.
That's what intimacy is.
I'm really pissed that you said that to me!
Sorry.
My life just really isn't that interesting.
I want to read those journals you're constantly scribbling in.
What do you write if you don't have any thoughts or passions or love?
november 19th, Two thousand three.
Dinner at Kang's again.
Are we like those poor couples
you feel...sorry for in restaurants?
Are we the dining dead?
I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.
I like that.
How's the chicken?
Good.
More?
no, thank you.
She's going to be drunk and stupid now.
Would you do me a favor and clean the goddamn hair...
off the soap when you're done in the shower?
Yeah, it's gross.
I think it's just...
Repulsive.
It's repulsive.
Can we get through this?
Patrick?
Hey, Tangerine.
Patrick, it's you.
I'm so miserable right now.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
I'm just confused about everything.
What are you confused about?
Fverything's fine.
Do you love me?
Of course I do.
Where's the self-help section?
Do you think I'm ugly?
no. You're beautiful.
Maybe I should come over.
Oh no. I'm a mess.
Just let me come over. I'll cheer you up.
Okay.
Can I leave for a while?
My girlfriend's really upset.
We're right in the middle of erasing this poor man's -
Let him go. I'll help.
How hard can it be?
She hates me.
She wants me to go.
Go.
Alright.
I'll be right over, Tangerine.
You like?
I matched my sweatshirt exactly.
I like it.
You look like a tangerine.
Clemen-teen the tangerine.
Juicy and seedless.
I like that.
I like tangerines.
Can you see me doing ducks?
Tangerine...
How does he know to call you that?
How did who know?
Oh my God. Clem?
That's what they called themselves.
The Clash, the only band that mattered.
And they called themselves that for a reason.
It's amazing, isn't it?
Like Social Justice.
Yeah, it's totally incredible.
What Howard gives to the world.
Yeah.
To let people begin again.
It's beautiful.
You look at a baby, and it's so pure and so free and so...
clean and...
Adults are this mess of sadness and...
phobias.
And Howard just makes it all go away.
Baby, what's going on?
I don't know.
I'm lost, I'm scared, I feel like I'm disappearing.
My skin's coming off!.
I'm getting old!
nothing makes any sense to me!
You're not getting old.
nothing makes any sense.
Tangerine...
It's okay.
Let's go out dancing.
You want to go out to Montauk with me?
Montauk?
Yeah. no! Come up to Boston with me.
Sure. We can go next weekend.
no. I have to go now.
I have to see the frozen Charles now.
Hi, it's Joel.
Leave me a message after the beep and I'll get back to you.
Pick up.
Hello? What's up?
I got into a little situation with the old lady.
Can you handle things tonight alone?
I'm really sorry.
Don't worry. I've got it under control.
He's on auto-pilot now anyway.
Thanks. I owe you big-time.
I've got to go.
Look! You and me on the Charles River.
I could die right now.
I'm just happy.
I've never felt that before.
I'm exactly where I want --
I'm so excited!
I'm excited, too.
Cool.
I got you this thing.
Happy early Valentine's Day.
Wow. What is it?
I don't know. Open it up.
It's gorgeous.
You like it?
It's just my taste, really.
I've never gone out with a guy who bought me jewelry I liked.
Thank you.
Joely?
Yeah, Tangerine?
Am I ugly?
When I was a kid I thought I was.
Can't believe I'm crying already.
Sometimes I think people don't understand
how lonely it is to be a kid.
Like you don't matter.
So, I'm eight...
and I have these toys, these dolls.
My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.
And I keep yelling at her You can't be ugly!
Be pretty!
It's weird.
Like if I can transform her...
I would magically change, too.
You're pretty.
Joely. Don't ever leave me.
You're pretty.
Please let me keep this memory.
Just this one.
I want to hold your hand. Come on.
Stop it!
I could die right now.
I'm just... so happy.
I've never felt that before.
I'm just exactly...
where I want to be.
Clem.
I want to call it off.
Can you hear me?!
I want to call it off!.
Is anybody there?!!
Joel.
I am.
Joel.
We've got to go. What? Where?
I have an idea of how to stop this.
Stop what?
Joel. Come on.
Don't tickle me.
no! Don't!
Smell my armpits!
Concentrate, Clem. We've got to get back to the office.
Halloween.
There was a tape recorder.
no, not the picture!
Back here.
Come on!
Look at me. I want to go there!
Our files are confidential, Mister Barish,
so I can't show you evidence.
Suffice it so say that Miss Chryzinski...
was not happy and she wanted to move on.
Just tell me everything you remember.
That's what he said.
What did we see that day?
Oh, look!
We're going to see my grandma!
no. We're not going on a train.
Joel, please.
Don't make me run!
Come on. Mierzwiak!
Do we always have to run?
Please?
Why don't we begin by you telling me everything
you can remember -
Mierzwiak! Wake me up!
I'm sorry.
I thought you understood what was going on here.
You're erasing her from me.
You're erasing me from her.
You have this thing.
I'm in my bed. I know it.
I'm in my brain.
I'm part of your imagination, too.
How can I help you from there?
I'm inside your head, too.
I'm you!
Sorry.
Who's that?
He works for us. That's...
Paaaaaa-trick..baaaaaby boy.
He's stealing my identity.
He stole my stuff.
He's seducing my girlfriend with my words.
He stole her underwear.
Jesus Christ. He stole her underwear.
I could die right now. I'm just happy.
I've never felt that before.
I'm exactly where I want to be.
I want to go home.
What?
Clem!
Wait, Clem!
Clem, they're erasing you.
Over here!
Focus. I hired them.
I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.
Sweetie, calm down.
Fnjoy the scenery.
I need it to stop before I wake up and don't know you any more.
Just tell them to cancel it then.
What are you talking about?
I can't just cancel it. I'm asleep.
Wake yourself up.
Want me to wake up?
Okay.
This make you happy if I try?
Yeah. I'll try really hard.
Here we go. That was a great idea.
That's working like gangbusters.
That tickles me!
What the hell is that?
It's a birthmark!
It did work, for a second.
See?
But I couldn't move.
Isn't that just another one of Joel's self-fulfilling prophecies?
It's more important to prove me wrong than to actually -
I don't want to discuss this right now, okay?
Fine.
Then what? I'm listening.
I don't know.
You erased me.
That's why I'm doing this.
I'm sorry.
You know me. I'm impulsive.
That's what I love about you.
Joel.
I have another idea for this problem.
This is a memory of me.
The way you wanted to...
have sex on the couch after you look down at my crotch.
Joel. The eraser guys are coming here,
so what if you took me someplace else....
somewhere where I don't belong, and we hide there till morning?
I can't remember anything without you.
That's very sweet, but try.
Okay.
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.
It's working!
I'm a genius!
Joel.
Where did you go?
I'm supposed to come, too!
I'll get a salad bowl.
Can you stir the soup and keep an eye on ?
He just likes to be near me.
Absolutely.
It worked. My God!
Look at this! It worked!
Look at this dress!
I wish I could take it with me.
Hey, who am I?
Mrs. Hamlyn.
Right. Mrs. Hamlyn.
I must be about four.
Oh, my gosh.
Found the salad bowl,
so I'm serving salad and string beans.
Is he okay under there?
Honey, are you alright?
Would you hate me if I asked you to clean some string beans?
not at all.
I love this kitchen.
Thank you so much.
She's not looking at me.
She's busy.
no one ever looks at me.
I want my mommy.
Oh, baby Joel.
Is every little peanut under there okay?
He's fine.
Do you have something to drink?
Could you drink a cocktail at this hour?
I know it's not five, but --
I would die for a vodka.
Let me check if I have that.
Okay.
I'm just going to wait right here.
no, sweetie.
Joel?
Your mother wants me to mind you.
Get back under the table.
Ice cream.
not until after you've had your dinner.
Come on! Grow up.
Don't leave me, Clem.
Oh, my God.
This is sort of warped.
I'm scared.
I want my mommy!
Don't cry, baby Joel.
It's okay.
Joel! Stop it! I think it's working.
We're hidden, Joel. Look!
Wait there.
My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
It stopped.
What?
It stopped erasing.
Oh, shit! This is terrible.
He's off the map.
Where?
I don't know where!
This is very bad news.
Where are my glasses?
Crap! What did we do?
What shall we do?
I don't know what to do.
What shall we do?
I just said I don't know.
I'm sorry.
What shall we do?
I don't know. Mellow out.
You're freaking me out.
We have to do something.
He could wake up all half-baked.
Quiet. You're freaking me out.
All gooey and half-baked.
That sounds so good. I'm hungry.
Oh, shit. What? What?
We should call Howard!
no! I can handle this.
You can't call Howard.
There's no time to fuck around.
I've got this under control.
What are you talking about? Stop fucking around!
Okay. I'll call Howard.
Hello?
Howard? It's Stan.
I'm working on this guy down here...
and we seem to have lost him for a moment.
And I can't bring him back up.
Tell me what happened before he disappeared.
I wasn't sure because I was away from the monitor for a minute...
and I had it on auto-pilot because I had to pee.
Where was Patrick?
Patrick? He had to go home sick
What's the address?
I'm so sorry.
I'm at 1 59 South Village.
Apartment 1-F.
Rockville Center.
Mary? He's coming right now.
I'm staying.
Get your stuff. I see.
I think you should go.
no.
I am so stoned.
Please, you have to go.
I don't want him to see me stoned.
You have no idea how much trouble we'd get into if Howard comes -
Joel, stop! Look!
I want her to pick me up.
It's weird how strong that desire is.
Look at me!
You'll remember me in the morning...
and you'll come to me,
and you'll tell me about us, and we'll start over.
Pat? I thought we could have a little cocktail.
That Patrick guy, he's copying me.
What Patrick guy?
That guy! He's here.
In my apartment.
One of the eraser guys.
He fell for you when they were doing you,
and now he's...introduced himself like he doesn't know you
and you guys are dating.
Really? Is he cute?
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're the most wonderful person I've ever met.
You're kind and beautiful and smart...
and funny and nice.
What?!
Okay.
Move! Come on, let's go!
I'm still stoned.
Those eyedrops you gave me didn't do shit.
Be cool.
Hello, Mary. What are you doing here?
Hi, Howard. She was just here to help out.
I wanted to understand as much about the procedure as possible.
I think it's important for my job to understand the inner workings of...
the work that we do.
Well, not that I do, but the work that is done...
by people where I also work
The work of my colleagues.
Let's see if we can get to the bottom of this, shall we?
That's odd.
Already tried that.
You tried going through the C-gate?
Of course.
I mean yes.
Alright.
You want to get linked up?
I already ran the utility programs, and I have nothing there...
so I checked all the memories against the printed logs.
Here, Howard.
I got you a chair. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Alright.
I've got it.
I'm going through the entire memory, see if something comes up.
I love being bathed in the sink
Such a feeling of security.
I've never seen you happier, Baby Joel.
There it is.
I don't understand why it's off the map like that.
What was he doing there?
His eyes are open.
Has this happened before with him?
no.
This is not good.
I'm going to have to give him this.
Can't you see I love you, Antoine?
Okay. We're back in.
That was beautiful to watch Howard, like a surgeon or a concert pianist.
Thank you, Mary.
Howard, you should get some sleep.
I think I'll be fine now.
Can't you see I love you, Antoine?
Lucky me. Lay one on me.
Don't call me Antoine.
My name is Wally.
Yes, I know,
but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?
Oh! What was that?
My God, there's people coming out of your butt.
There is?
Got it.
Tangerine! Come on.
We've got to go.
Go on. Please go.
You can run, but you can't hide.
Clem, come on! There I am.
Doc?
Please?
Let's begin by telling me everything you remember -
That's strange.
He's in a memory we've already eased.
At least we know where he is.
He's back on track, right?
Come on, Clem.
Seems he's developed some sort of resistance to the procedure.
I don't want to run any more.
Shit!
Come on...
Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.
Where?
Hide me in your humiliation.
Come on, you big baby.
no!!
Bye, Howard.
Wait! He's disappeared again.
Oh, dear.
I'm so sorry.
Humiliation.
Joel.
I don't like it either.
I'm just trying to find horrible secret places to -
Honey, I have a surprise.
You know what? I'll just ask you in the morning.
Goodnight.
I'm sorry Joel. Shut up.
Joel, look where we are!
This isn't good.
Hide me somewhere really buried.
Hit it, Joel!
I can't. I've got to go home.
I'll do it later!
He has a girlfriend.
What am I doing?
Freddy, you don't scare me anymore!
Joel, get up.
Come on. They're not worth it.
He's not listening! Come on.
Stupid!
I'm so ashamed.
It's okay.
You were a little kid.
Come on.
That's where I live - lived.
I wish I knew you when I was a kid.
Do you like my pink hat?
Look, feel better.
You can really kill me this time. Go.
You're really going to die, though, right?
One two three...
You're dead.
Oh, my mom.
It's okay!
We're playing.
It's not real. He's killing me.
Are you dead yet?
You're dead!
I think I got the hang of this.
I still don't understand it...
but I'm finding him quickly enough.
Joel.
Are you okay?
Joel...
Oh my God, that was terrible.
Almost three seconds. Alright.
Let me be it one more time..
One more, then I get to go.
Oh, shit!
This is so cool!
Look out!
It's fluff!.
Our house!
We've got to go!
Come on!
Clem, we've got to go.
This is a really bad time for this!
I don't even know where we're going.
It's going to be fun.
It's the best place - this way. no, this way.
This way. Come on.
You're no help at all.
Come on.
Let go of me, Joel!
I like watching you work, Howard.
I guess I'll go out for some air.
If nobody minds.
It looks like you have everything under control here.
That's fine.
Do you like quotes?
What do you mean?
Famous quotes.
I find reading them inspirational...
and I've come across some I thought you might like, too.
I'd love to hear some.
Blessed are the forgetful,
for they get the better even of their blunders.
That's nietzsche, right?
Yeah. And I thought I could tell you something you didn't know.
It's a good quote.
I'm happy we both know it.
There's this other one I like.
It's by Pope Alexander, and it goes -
Alexander Pope?
Oh, yeah.
Shit.
It's just that I told myself not to say Pope Alexander ...
and sound like a dope, and then I go ahead and say it.
It's no big deal.
You're such a sweetheart.
The quote goes
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot:
Fternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Fach prayer accepted and each wish resign'd.
I want to be a huge elephant.
With a huge trunk, like that.
Clementine?
I haven't heard that one.
It's lovely.
I just thought it would be appropriate, maybe.
I really admire the work you do
I don't mean to be so familiar -
It's fine. I'm happy to hear -
I'm sorry.
I've loved you for a very long time.
I shouldn't have said that.
Mary, you're a wonderful girl.
But you know I have a wife and kids.
Mary.
Oh. Mary we can't do this.
Good morning, Mrs. Mierzwiak
Oh my God. Who is it?
Thanks a lot, Stan.
Hollis!
Wait.
I knew it, Howard.
It didn't start out like this.
I came here to work!
This is a one-time mistake.
it's true! I'm a stupid girl with a crush!
I basically forced him into it!
Don't be a monster.
Tell the girl.
Tell me what?
Oh, you poor kid.
You can have him.
You did.
What?!
We have a history.
I'm sorry.
You wanted the procedure done.
You wanted it done so you could get past...
I have to finish the work in there.
It's almost morning.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
Let me give you a lift home.
Hi.
Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again.
I thought you were humiliated.
You did run away, after all.
I just needed to see you, and...
I'd like to take you out or something.
You're married.
not yet.
no, I'm not married.
Look, I'm telling you right off the bat
I'm high maintenance, so...
I'm not gonna tiptoe around your marriage or...
whatever it is you've got going there.
If you want to be with me, you're with me.
Okay.
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or...
I'm gonna make them alive.
I'm just a fucked-up girl who's... looking for my own peace of mind.
Don't assign me yours.
I remember that speech really well.
I had you pegged, didn't I?
You had the whole human race pegged.
Probably.
I still thought you were going to save my life.
Fven after that.
I know.
It would be different if we could just give it another go-round.
Remember me.
Try your best.
Maybe we can.
Just tell me what you remember, and we'll take it from there.
Okay.
I liked you immediately.
You didn't come on to me at all.
I liked that.
I was so tongue-tied around you at first.
But I wanted you to think I was smart.
I couldn't wait to come to work
I had these fantasies of...
us being married and having kids and just...
Oh, Howie, I can't do this.
We agreed it's for the best, Mary.
I know.
Oh, God!
I'll take the bottom and you
Joel...help me with that.
Will you get the cooler?
She can get it.
Let me get that.
no, no, no!
Don't take anything. I can take the plane.
Put the gate back up.
This is the day we met.
You were down by the surf.
I could just make you out in the distance.
I remember being drawn to you, even then.
I thought Wow. How odd.
I'm drawn to someone's back
You were in that orange sweatshirt...
I would come to know so well.
And even hate, eventually.
But at the time I thought How cool, an orange sweatshirt.
Hi, there.
Hi.
I saw you sitting over here.
By yourself.
And I thought Thank God...
someone normal who doesn't know
how to interact at these things either.
I don't ever know what to say.
I'm Clementine.
Can I borrow a piece of your chicken?
And then you just took it, without waiting for an answer.
It was so intimate, like we were already lovers.
I'm Joel.
Hi, Joel.
no jokes about my name.
Like Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Clementine?
Huckleberry Hound? That sort of thing?
Yeah. Like that.
no, no jokes.
One of my favorite things
when I was a kid was my Huckleberry Hound doll.
I think your name is magical.
This is it, Joel.
It's gonna be gone soon.
I know.
What do we do?
Fnjoy it.
You married?
no.
Let's move into this neighborhood.
I do sort of live with someone, though.
Male or female?
What? Female.
At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree.
Do you know these people?
Of course not. Come on.
They might have a dog.
There's no dog.
What are you doing?
It's freezing out.
I don't believe this.
Come on. The water's fine.
nobody's coming here tonight, believe me.
So what's your girlfriend's name?
naomi, but we're not really...
Whatever.
So this is great.
now I can look for...
candles, matches, and the liquor cabinet.
Oh, God.
I think we should go.
There's no phone line.
What?
I think we should go.
Why? It's our house.
Just for tonight.
We are...David and Ruth Laskin!
Which one...do you want to be?
I prefer to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.
What do you need?
Alcohol.
So, are you okay with wine?
I don't know...
Well, you choose the wine.
I'll go find the bedroom and slip into something more Ruth.
I'm Ruth-less at the moment.
I've got to catch my ride.
So go.
I did.
I thought maybe you were a nut.
But you were exciting.
I wish you'd stayed!
I wish I'd stayed, too.
now I wish I'd stayed.
I wish I'd done a lot of things.
I wish I'd stayed.
I do.
I came back downstairs, and you were gone.
I walked out the door.
Why?
I don't know.
I felt like a scared little kid.
It was above my head. I don't know.
You were scared?
Thought you knew that about me.
I ran back to the bonfire,
trying to outrun my humiliation, I think
Was it something I said?
Yeah.
You said So go with such disdain.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Joel.
What if you stayed this time?
I walked out the door.
There's no memory left.
Come back and make up a goodbye, at least.
Let's pretend we had one.
Bye, Joel.
I love you.
Meet me in Montauk
I didn't crash the plane.
The plane crashed.
I didn't do it.
You were operating the plane with the remote control,
and it crashed.
It was fucking windy. Come on.
You're stoned and you're driving.
The pot balances it out and brings you back up.
That's why I smoke it.
If I'm going to be drinking, then
I'll smoke it.
It does.
A medical test was done by the Science network
Honey, just watch the road.
I can't see shit.
I saw you talking to somebody pretty.
She was nice.
Who was it?
She was just a girl.
So I've got to drop the van off.
Thanks, Stan.
We'll talk
You've got a lot of your stuff there. That's right.
I take it you're not coming back
I wouldn't come back if I was you.
Do you swear you didn't know?
I swear.
So you didn't do the erasing?
Of course not.
And you never even suspected we were together?
Once, maybe.
I was coming back from a job, and I saw you two talking.
So I waved to you, and you giggled.
How did I look?
You looked happy.
Happy with a secret.
And after that?
I never saw you two together again like that...
so I just figured I was imagining things.
I really like you, Mary Svevo.
You know that?
Thanks.
Let me get my toothbrush.
Where are you, Clem?
I'm worried.
I feel like you're mad at me and I don't know what I did.
I love you so much.
I'll do anything to make you happy.
Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.
I'm going to stop by this morning, just to make sure you're okay.
Vamonos, senor.
I had a really nice time last night.
nice?
I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life last night.
That's better.
This is weird.
To all patients of Doctor Howard Mierzwiak..
My name is Mary Svevo.
We've met, but you don't remember me.
I worked for a company you hired to have part of your memory erased.
I've since decided that this is a horrible...
To correct this,
I'm sending everyone's file back to them.
My name is Clementine Kruscynski.
I'm here to erase Joel Barish.
What is this?
I don't know.
He's boring.
Is that enough reason to erase someone?
I've been thinking how I was before and how I am now, and he changed me.
I feel like I'm always pissy.
I don't like myself when I'm with him.
I can't stand to even look at him.
That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile.
What are you doing?
I'm not doing anything.
The bloom is certainly off the rose at this point.
Are you screwing with me?
no!
You are screwing with me.
I'm not!
You clearly are!
Let's just take a minute and just...
Patrick, get the fuck away!
Can we talk about it?
no! Get the fuck away!
Hey, Clementine.
Hey.
nice to see you.
Yes.
...and she's smart, I think, but not educated.
I couldn't talk to her about books.
She's more of a magazine-reading girl.
Her vocabulary leaves something to be desired.
The truth is, I was embarrassed in public...
because she would pronounce 'library' 'li-berry'.
Look what I found.
I think if there's a truly seductive quality about Clementine...
it's that her personality promises to take you out of the mundane...
Made me look skinny.
...amazing, burning meteorite will carry you to another world,
where things are exciting.
But what you quickly learn is that it's really an elaborate ruse.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
It's okay.
I really like you.
I hate that I said mean things about you.
Let me turn this off.
Hey, that's only fair.
The whole thing with the hair, it's all bullshit.
I really like your hair.
Thank you.
I really like your hair. Thank you.
I do.
You want a drink or something?
Do you have any whiskey?
I didn't think her sex was motivated.
I saw it clearly the last night we were together.
It wasn't sexy.
It was just...sad.
Sorry, I thought there was more.
The only way she can get people to like her is to fuck them.
Or at least dangle the possibility of getting fucked in front of them.
I think she's so desperate and insecure...
that she'll sooner or later go around fucking everybody.
I don't do that.
I wouldn't think that about you.
Because I don't.
I know.
It really hurts me that you said that, because I don't do that.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry about all this.
I'm going to go.
I'm a little confused.
I don't really think I can be here.
Bye.
I really thought I knew her so well. It was nice meeting you.
But I didn't know her at all.
What a loss to spend that much time with someone...
only to find out that she's a stranger.
Wait!
What?
I don't know. Just wait. What do you want, Joel?
I want you to wait for... just a...while.
Okay.
Really?
I'm not a concept, just a fucked-up girl looking for peace of mind.
I'm not perfect.
I can't see anything that I don't like about you right now.
But you will think of things.
And I'll get bored with you...
and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Okay.